bananna

and i am so happy! it's funny the feedback i get. all the doctors and nurses and surgeons want to make sure that i realize this is permanent. and there is this recurring thing that i guess they are...

i am parting with things- not things i care about, but just shit that i've lugged around for years that i don't use. i am becoming unattached to things. what scares me is that i am having trouble...

is it because i'm looking on craigslist? but there used to be all sorts of good ones on there before. maybe i'm just a fucking snob, but, seriously, when i advertise that a drummer and bass player...

and my heart is breaking. and i didn't make it. i just had to hold on to him for a moment...my life feels like shit right now and all i can do is wait... i'm trying to make a world of excitement for...

am i doing spending my love on someone that doesn't really love me?? i should be spending this love on myself... i know i deserve it.

why believe in premonitions? premonitions that you have had since you could remember..? an understanding of your life as you know it, and what it will turn out to be..? why believe them? nobody else...

once she texted me while drunk trying to reach out and mend bridges. and today i open my email and there is a letter from her, again trying to rekindle our relationship.i don't really know what to...

"To My "Biological Father"A Sudden burst of texts messages do not suffice for a lack of a childhood,while you were busy running around fixing the messes you've made. I was growing up. If you really...

i can do this. and it's not necessarily a concern that i cannot do this. it is more that i AM doing this, that this MUST happen, and that it IS happening.through all of this i can wish that it wasn't...

i will confess i am wishing that he would come to me and apologize and put on the charm. but i am still afraid of him. when he goes out at night i keep my phone near me in case he comes back drunk...

i know that the man that i fell in love with doesn't really exist. or he does, but he hasn't been around lately. i know all this, but part of me can't really accept it. it has gotten so intense...

i am physically and mentally unable to handle his behavior. the stress level is too much for my little body to bear, and it breaks my heart when he isolates for days and i don't know where he is or...

"did you get a good fuck at the ruby room?" (the bar i went to tonight to see a band play while he hung out at a different bar with a friend of his.)never an apology for this kind of talk. i don't...

i'm not sure where i stand. he was just bugging the shit outta me last night, just with little things, but enough that i felt affected. he wasn't being mean, per se, just critical and goofy drunk. my...

a girl at work had a dream about me last night that i was raging and screaming at everyone. she said it was weird because i'm so sweet.so what came to mind was that she tapped into something she...