malibumark

I'm starting to question other people's experience of me and how I'm effecting them. Im also starting to consider their experience in general. I know I question a whole heck of a lot, perhaps to find...

I'm sitting here with my Dad and stepmom in the great room in their house. I am very grateful to be here with them, to have them in my life. Not a lot of sharing about things, I find myself desperate...

I want to live in peace but I still have to make my life work. So I may live at a monastery and I am a monk (which I love) but the elder has bigger plans for me. He makes my stay there possible, so I...

I woke at 320a EST to catch a 730am flight out of Baltimore. The flight was delayed and delayed and so I missed my connecting flight in Chicago. The result of that was waiting for the next available...

It’s been an adventure but fun. Missed the connecting flight so I’m in Chicago until 7pm for the next possible flight since 11am. Very proud of myself though. I realized I had enough miles on AA...

i find myself caught up in my needs tonight - or at least I was -I kept talking to myself about knowing that I have a lot of desiresbut also the knowledge that if followed those desires could lead...

I know this title may sound really childish - but it's an important realization for me and or just good reminder about howI was unaware of my thinking.I was taking care of Blue earlier. He really...

I got the worst haircut tonight..I really wanted to lookgood for going home to LA for Christmas - the guy who cut my hair was absolutely bizarre. He botched my beard trim too.Uggh! haha!Anywaysas I...

I think that in my drastic turn around in  growing, where I realized I needed to be self responsible and then also interdependent, I kind of blocked out in my mind my own agency of decision making....

There's a band of feral 'mouser' cats who live outside the barn and chicken coop. We feed them food scraps but I bought a bag of food for them for Christmas as it is bitter cold here. Very happy I...

Love is out there. We’re all different people so it comes each with a different flair or spin to it.I’m back at St. Nina’s, humbled but happy. I sobbed into Blue’s belly because I love him so...

Things aren't going so well where I am right now. I'm starting to feel trapped and in danger. I'm sure the elder and others are sleeping comfortably and have no care for the fact that I don't want to...

I lose my way mentally so much. So often. I become in the moment and feel bereft of spirit for anything beyond the momentum of life.i was sitting here looking at the elder and the bishop as...

I stayed alone tonight and yes I was complaining to myself. So I came out of my room to be with the others in the living room. I just came to the thought that we’re each kind of lonely on the path...