self affirming
I think that in my drastic turn around in growing, where I realized I needed to be self responsible and then also interdependent, I kind of blocked out in my mind my own agency of decision making. I know now, I need to 'allow' myself to affirm my own desires and choices for moving forward in my life. It's important to be able to choose the things in my life that affirm me. I'm not saying I should be totally self justifying but I do need and want to listen to what things in my day that align with what I want and that affirm me. Or at least be aware of what I am listening to.
As a tangent to that thought, I definitely want to redecorate my room here. I'd like to be able to come home at night to something that's about my own dignity and preferences.:)
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in my own psycho journey, i have reframed the self-affirmation of "my own desires and choices for moving forward in my life" to "clearly and respectfully stating my preferences." when my preferences are not on the celestial menu, i work with what god sends me.
and i redecorate ALLOT of rooms. redecorating spaces won't fulfill my river dreams, but a newly altered space helps me gain new perspective on the little ship of fools i am sailing across the southern great plains commonly called, "the dust bowl."
thanks Arfie! The dust bowl comment makes me thinking of how I need to dust my room's countertops etc...
Dusting has to be one of the least appealing aspects of housekeeping for - not to mention the coughing from it... :)
I recently discovered this Swiffer duster and love it!
https://www.swiffer.com/en-us/shop-products/dusting/swiffer-dusters-cleaner-starter-kit
:-) thanks Susan!!!
and you are currently in a humid seaboard ecosystem. you ain't met dust till you've sailed the dust bowl dust.
https://www.loc.gov/classroom-materials/united-states-history-primary-source-timeline/great-depression-and-world-war-ii-1929-1945/dust-bowl/
they told me about it when I visited Oklahoma. About waking up with an outline of their head on their pillows
where the dust didn't settle.
at times I have realized I almost unconsciously listened to my body
and yet very much getting lost in it.
I am also protected by my body too -
- I think in the process of being healthy - and knowing what things I am responding to
again helps me adjust to a cognition of the relationship at hand. That which I have with the external input as well
as my internal response to it - in other words I'm starting to listen more to my mind -
knowing that sometimes that if I don't have motivation or focus to do something -
at those moments sometimes I need to give myself a project or a schedule - even
if I feel totally anxious....sitting in place while anxious - though anxiety exhausting and seeming like
work - for me needs to gently be transitioned out of....key word 'gently' -
I can get so lost in it..
and yes it's true the mind and body connect - not always comfortably - sometimes
you just gotta get your butt moving ahead.. again giving myself a project or looking for
a schedule set by someone else - or plain just focusing on being self responsible
"what am I listening to?" - there's a choice if you know what you're responding to..
it's so funny how writing stuff can make me feel so constipated to let go of it - or to feel
safe after letting it go - it kind of is born into it's own life! Maybe you just gotta let the baby free?!! :)
But sometimes when you know your audience can be super harsh - it leaves you listening to the bad stuff
where your mind tells you, that you have no right or you're 100% wrong.
you guys are not harsh - i'm talking about another place where I talk about stuff
I do think it's absolutely important to be true to yourself sweetie
When you make good decisions for you first I think other things fall into place
Could you draw or do puzzles when you feel tense sweetie ..Paint
Something uplifting to get lost in?
i am under the distinct impression that the mind is ALWAYS listening to the body, whether consciously or unconsciously. is it possible to breathe without the mind giving instructions to the body? i hold my breath under the influence of anxiety. i hold that fact as evidence that my mind can consciously stop the lungs from functioning. when i keep that quirk subconscious, my survival instinct always seems to win over whatever fear has me holding my breath.
100% of anything is rare in nature. not even **i** can be wrong 100% of the time.
yay you for learning to be gentle with yourself. now for the patience with the process?
through the mysteries of my damaged brain, i found myself reviewing my early therapy (80's/90's) for intrusive thoughts. i had enough intrusive thoughts to drive a royal we mad for the noise of it. my first breakthrough centered around the buddhist model of the "monkey mind." graphic thinker that i am, visualization of actual monkeys were a useful tool in working the process.
dunno why i felt i should share that here, but? ? ? the quiet voice made me do it.
Thanks Janet!! I hold my breath too, Arfie!!