Reflecting ‘coz I brought nuthin’ to read
It’s been an adventure but fun. Missed the connecting flight so I’m in Chicago until 7pm for the next possible flight since 11am. Very proud of myself though. I realized I had enough miles on AA advantage that now I joined the admirals club!I’m sitting safe and pretty:)The membership costs 79$ or 7,900 advantage miles. I chose miles so it was free!
I found myself feeling kind of lost in the everyday environment. Too much time on my hands and I imbibed a couple of drinks at 12 with lunch. I draw strength from my relationships at the monastery. Outside that world I am finding myself thinking in terms of vanity at times and now in the admirals club I find myself faced with a different kind of vibe along those lines. I’m trying to stay present so that I don’t just relate to the baser reflexive feelings of stuffing my face and the emotional tide. Trying to not just shutdown (but again I did have some alcohol.)
There’s a lot going on today so better cop to that and I’m noticing in others that we each have a boundary thst once filled is the level of satisfaction we need to keep on keeping on.
Keep positive!!
It’s funny in the outside world I find myself becoming a little sensitive and paranoid but maybe this is just a test for me to keep strong and with things in perspective not to put too much stock in vanity..
And to be strong in myself
I know I need validation when I’m alone a lot and I don’t always get that.
I need to do it myself but remember that it's like self humanity. Not perfecting things but rather being careful. I realize that we’ll need that. It’s hard to be by myself in public. I didn’t bring any reading material or pad and pencil. I find myself becoming a "IPhone Vigilant" it’s an addictive type thing where I think I am doing something because I am constantly scanning for shit to reply to.
I hope you guys are having a good day. Things here are alright. Food at the airport is so chock full of sugar I feel comatose. It’s like carnival food. Willpower is what I want for Christmas and the new year.
Replies
I think I want to make my life about caring for others. I feel a great consolation when I make room for just humanity. My own humanity and others. I remember the thought that no one corners the market on that stuff. When I am myself like this though, knowing what I like and what I wan to do, It can be a vulnerable place to be if some are monolithic or super predators in their personality attacks attacks. Again though no one corners the market on that stuff.
i consider myself to be a super predator. when i set out to find something, it WILL be found. as a super predator, why in the cosmos would i set out to hunt a personality to attack? when i encounter such a pathetic predator, all i can see is a wounded soul crying out for help. i help when i can, but if i cannot, i at least try to avoid hurting them further. ...evil grin... don't wanna frighten off the healthier members of the herd.
empathy on the terminal wait. however luxurious the decorations, the waiting is the hardest part. i consider travel accommodations to be the price i pay for seeing the world. travel ain't cheap, either literally or metaphorically.
for your waiting amusement
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMyCa35_mOg
I really don’t feel good.
Finally taking off will land in LA at 10pm PST
Oh wish I would have been around when you wrote this. I would have given you an O’Hare scavenger hunt project. I walked probably 10 marathons or more when I worked there…..
Thanks Nikki! It’s intense!!
I used to see the most amazing humans there. And there are some semi healthy food options there. Like the beet salad at The Publican. I used to work a lot in terminal 3 and I bet you walked past a bunch of old cohorts of mine. And I hope you figured out the Home Alone airport run spot.
I think I was in terminal 3!!
Yes you were! Thats the American Airlines terminal.
:-)