i don't know what's happening to me

i am parting with things- not things i care about, but just shit that i've lugged around for years that i don't use. i am becoming unattached to things. what scares me is that i am having trouble being attached to my cats. one in particular is so needy and driving me crazy, and i just can't give him what he needs. i get irritated with him, and it makes me feel horrible. he's 10 years old, i can't just find him a home... the other one is almost 9.
my parting with things isn't irrational, though, like my grandmother's coffee table i am giving to my cousin. my old desk i will probably find a home for within the family. i am thinking of selling my old keyboard that is probably worth a few thousand. i almost never play it, but i've had it since childhood and my mom gave it to me. it's very sentimental, but what is sentimentality, really, but a fond sort of materialism if you don't put the thing to good use?
i don't feel like i am suicidal- i hear that when people are considering committing suicide they start giving things away. i'm just getting rid of stuff, and i want money for the shit that's worth something. but it does feel different. i feel a serious detachment happening. and i can't sleep and i don't eat. i just want to work and work and work and make art and play music and get the hell out of san diego...
move to seattle might be move to portland.