today i am going to try
i am physically and mentally unable to handle his behavior. the stress level is too much for my little body to bear, and it breaks my heart when he isolates for days and i don't know where he is or what he is doing.
i no longer trust him, and last night he was out with his friend, or in, his texts confused me, and i just frankly don't feel like i believe him anymore. i can't make that change in myself. if i don't trust him, i will never know inner peace.
when he finally came home around 4am i had to get a look at his face. he was still on the dark side, i could see it. honestly, i was afraid that he was going to come home drunk and rage at me.
i am afraid of my own boyfriend. a woman on another support site pointed out that i am not supposed to be afraid of the one that "loves" me.
there's an extended stay hotel that's really cheap and takes pets. i can bring my dogs and board my cats at my work. i think the people at my work would be very supportive of that. for whatever reason they see in me what my boyfriend does not. they believe in me.
god i am such a crybaby! one time when my bf had been isolating for days and in the midst of it sent some nasty drunken texts, this old dude at the bar came up to me and was talking to me about how great he thought i was with my curly hair, shooting pool by myself, not wearing tons of makeup and looking like all the other girls. I CRIED because i can't even get this from my own boyfriend.
i woke up today and knew that i wasn't the bad guy.
one of my dogs gets so scared of him when he gets upset. i can't do this to her. i can't do this to me. last night i was stroking her head while she lay on the bed next to me (in secret- she's not allowed on the bed because it's HIS). i agreed with her that it was time for us to go home.
oh god this is so hard. please, i need strength.
i no longer trust him, and last night he was out with his friend, or in, his texts confused me, and i just frankly don't feel like i believe him anymore. i can't make that change in myself. if i don't trust him, i will never know inner peace.
when he finally came home around 4am i had to get a look at his face. he was still on the dark side, i could see it. honestly, i was afraid that he was going to come home drunk and rage at me.
i am afraid of my own boyfriend. a woman on another support site pointed out that i am not supposed to be afraid of the one that "loves" me.
there's an extended stay hotel that's really cheap and takes pets. i can bring my dogs and board my cats at my work. i think the people at my work would be very supportive of that. for whatever reason they see in me what my boyfriend does not. they believe in me.
god i am such a crybaby! one time when my bf had been isolating for days and in the midst of it sent some nasty drunken texts, this old dude at the bar came up to me and was talking to me about how great he thought i was with my curly hair, shooting pool by myself, not wearing tons of makeup and looking like all the other girls. I CRIED because i can't even get this from my own boyfriend.
i woke up today and knew that i wasn't the bad guy.
one of my dogs gets so scared of him when he gets upset. i can't do this to her. i can't do this to me. last night i was stroking her head while she lay on the bed next to me (in secret- she's not allowed on the bed because it's HIS). i agreed with her that it was time for us to go home.
oh god this is so hard. please, i need strength.
Replies
sending support and hugs. you don\'t need to be afraid all the time.
breaking up because i wan\'t cut out for this. he still had to rehash the last trigger. and he had the audacity to ask me to finish working on the cover of his poetry book since he had done so much for me in my band! and i told him no, and when he asked again i just looked at him and blinked and smiled slightly. i got to say no and it stuck.
i love him and it hurts, but the person i love is not the entire person that he is. and that\'s not fair for either one of us.
the comments aren\'t working right! that\'s supposed to start with \"thank you\" and \"i did it!! i told him i was...\"
there. that\'s a little better.
there are a couple of support groups for break-ups on here. don\'t hesitate to join the \"fun\" if you feel the need for company.