malibumark

sometimes I take a mental wrong turn. how many times have I written about it.a momentary dissapointment - will latch on to a projected stresser -which then becomes nerve wracking worries and can...

I seek freedom and moments to indulge at times...like today - I drank way too much coffee - I made a big pot -and I slowly drank the whole thing - I take things too far like thatand then finally got...

I was sitting there in services, behind the screen, and I was feeling sorely burdened with getting through this. Waking early – waking up here is hard for some reason - feeling competent to learn...

The darkness of the morning came with a foreboding sense.I felt hopeless at my seeming ineptitude, illness, weakness of mind and incompetence in life.How the heck am I going to survive?, I thought.I...

it's 645am - just showered and dressed.I go down to services at 715am.I'm kind of dealing with my experience todayas 'half an experience'. It's hard for meto always pay attention to the nuances of my...

Good morning! I am making a run to Dulles this morning to pick upa visiting parishioner shortly. Do you ever have moments when you feel like 'too comfortable'?Like you are supposed to have a destiny...

I have had four cups of coffee today.Unfortunately, I do crud like this sometimes.Where if something is in front of me - and it tastes so good -I won't stop myself from being a piggus.Now I am...

I think we're all out there seeking our own brand of beauty in life.Realistically, we all have the nuts and bolts of it to deal with.My sister wrote me that she recently re read Siddhartha and at the...

I was struggling today during services and just with living here...it seemed so confusing - so much brother and sisterhood and yet formality too     ?? why did I choose to come here? Not...

I am remembering this meme, where this anthropomorphized blackcloud of life's harshness hovered over a man - and the manlooked beleaguered and questioning. Then he started to 'make art with it'and...

I'm realizing that I can't always have access to the wisdom or personal practice with which to boost my own confidence. I need to reach out for it sometimes. Just 'that little bit of wisdom' is...

Took myself out to dinner at the pub. Super fun. Wonderfully indulgent and just a good reality check from the monastic life.

my day starts with sadness sometimes. seems more frequently than not.but that outlook too could just be the 'sadness talking'...I've gotten up, showered, shaved and dressed! made the bedand fed Blue....

the guy i sit next to at meal time everyday -has really bad table manners.he's a nice old man about 80 years old, with a tragic history.he speaks pretty much only greek and yet throughbroken english...