valgal18
Status: other grandma in hospital and grandpa just passed away
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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today during my first class my teacher was talking about next year and having people from the program come in a talk to us about it....i got so anxious that i wanted to cut...knowning that i couldn't...
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so i have a science test tomorrow, 2 tests a week from today, a paper due one week from today and a test next thursday....pretty anxiety provoking.....i just hafta keep my cool and just remember...
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so i ws at my aunt and uncle's house on saturday......my family spent the night on saturday at their house, so my parents could go to wisconsin to look at houses and i soent part of the day with my...
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soooo in previous journal enteries i talked about my uncle and how uncomfortable he makes me.....well tonight my mom's side of the family is going over to their house.....they went on safari a few...
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welllll i havne't been happy this long in a loooooong time....feeling this happiness is so...so...WEIRD.....i'm not used to this happiness or anything.....it feels so weird, but at the same time it...
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so i explained to my parents the reason why i have two therapists....and then today i got this letter in the mail from the new insurance saying a bunch of stuff and it said,"if you are going to be...
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so my therapist called me today and spoke to the woman who's a choice for my new therapist.....my therapist said that she sounds like a good fit so i'm gonna make an appointment for monday at...
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i just want ONE DAY where i don't have BPD or PTSD or MDD or suicidal thoughts or thoughts of cutting or thinking about my rape.....not really thinking or having an problems really....i just want one...
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i am so relieved......b/c of the switch of insurance i need ot find a therapist in network.....wellllllll my psychiatrist called and said that the therapist i had when i was inpatient is working out...
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soooooo in my recent journal enteries i wrote about my uncle who was making me very uncomfrotable and i thought it was okay b/c he was family etc. etc.....wellll saturday i was really sick and my mom...
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so i was thinking today about how i wish i could read my first rapist's mind.....when eh stripped me of my bra and shirt i was wondering WHY......he never did anything to my torso...except press on...
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this has been the first time in a loooooooooooong time where i'm so sick that i haven't thought about my rapes or self injury.....and it's totally NOT fun.....i'm so sick.....i think i have...
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soooo we get new insurance on march 1st and my therapist is out of network.....my psychiatrist and therapist signed off a letter to then ew insurance saying that i have chronic suicidal ideations,...
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feeling pretty good.......thank God today is thursday!!!!!! i don't have classes on fridays, so i'll be able to sleep in tomorrow.....of wait, no i won't....i have work stuff i gotta go in from...
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i feel so unimportant...... my brother called today and i read the comics, drank some water and he was still on the phone with my parents, so i went in the living room and sat in the chair listening...
dd