valgal18
Status: other grandma in hospital and grandpa just passed away
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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so my parents are moving to wisconsin......and they're NOY paying corbra, which means that we will have a 15$$ copay for my therapy the last week on march.....fucking perfect.....so my parents told...
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so over the past week everything has gone pretty well.....no extreme triggers, no crazy family stuff......i'm sick now, but that's expected this time of year.....the thing that made me pissed was on...
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THAT NIGHTmy life beforethat nightwas happy, joyful and valueableand my life afterthat nightis sad, awful and damagedmy soul beforethat nightwas pure, white and innocentmy soul afterthat nightis...
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STOLENfirst he steals my bodyso pure and cleani was saving ithe stole my bodythen he steals my innocenceso harmless and truei was healthy with ithe stole my innocencethird he steals my hopes and...
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i had a dream with M in it last night.....oh God did it scare me and if i lived that epereince i would kill myself.......it slipped out that i had told people and then he looked at me, dragged me in...
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i feel so down......i just keep on thinking about what he stole and how much he stole and how he could do this to me and how he could do this period.........i kills me and i just want my life...
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M stole so amn things from me.....my innocence, my hopes and dreams, my virginity, my wishes, my respect, my LIFE......it's so hard to actually accept that....i think i'm finally realizing how miuch...
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i was sooooo triggered yesterday.......i was at my cousin's second birthday party yesterday.....there was a guy who looked like M and i tried to control myself...be polite, but try to avoid him and...
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so there was a meeting today for all the students who want to go into the ITP program......i'll just leave it at ITP.....SO the teachers was saying that you need a B average and for every C in these...
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ya know.....i am SO DONE with masks......i used ot wear them all the time b/c i never thought i would be accepted, but i wanna be done with them......there's a problem though.......my dad accetped a...
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it's halloween today!!!!!!!!! cute kiddied trick or treating.....of course i'll be at group when it starts, but if i'm lucky maybe a few little ones will come before i leave.....feeling really good...
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i am soooooo anxious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tomorrow and friday is my anniversary........it's soooooooo scary!!!!!!!!!!! my therapist and i are going to do a recovery thing today...
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my PTSD is currently in full gear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fell asleep at 1 a.m. last night.....i NEVER stay up that late!!!!!!!!!!!!! my eyes wouldn't stay closed and my heart jumped at the slighest...
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so m grandparents came over yesterday to have lunch, carve a pumpkin and bake some cookies.....just to kind of get them out of th house and visit and stuff like that.....so they know my dad is moving...
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so anxious about my life that i'm losing sleep AGAIN......i swear i feel like i'm gonna fall asleep in the middle of the day.......i'm afraid that if i don't get sleep tonight then i'll fall asleep...
dd