reasons.........
so i was thinking today about how i wish i could read my first rapist's mind.....when eh stripped me of my bra and shirt i was wondering WHY......he never did anything to my torso...except press on my breasts so that i couldn't get up when he was undressing...i keep wondering if it was for power, to make me fee worse, to expose me more...maybe he thought i would stop fighting and he could do something to my torso or breasts or something.....i talked to my therapist about it today.....and we talked about how knowing what he was thinking would make me feel and how it would make things worse and stuff.....i get so cought up in everyhting....i scrutinize every detail and analyze it then over-analyze and then i get lost in my mind.....just had to get my thoughts out...
Replies
I hear you, and have gone through the same thoughts. It\'s not worth it. Believe it or not most rapists do it for the feeling of over powering someone. Its mostly a power trip and usually has little to to do with actual sex. They are sick in the head and want to feel that power and take it away from you. Thats why we feel powerless and helpless during the aftermath. I learned this in intensive therapy. My offender videotaped the whole thing so he could look back and watch his power over me. I\'m with you and know how you feel. PM me anytime. I\'m here for you as I am for many others on this forum.