just ONE day........

i just want ONE DAY where i don't have BPD or PTSD or MDD or suicidal thoughts or thoughts of cutting or thinking about my rape.....not really thinking or having an problems really....i just want one relaxing day.....a day where i acan be NORMAL....but i'll never be normal again.....i can lie to myself all i want and tell myself that i AM normal, but i'm not....and everyone can see it....they can see all of this....all of these lies that i tell myself and the pretend not to......they look at me and they see the perfect-ness of it all and the way i hold myself high and i smile and i laugh and i giggle and i give killer advice, but it's not true.....i dunno.....just wanna be normal now....tired of being weird