mal66

Today is April 1st, or also known as April Fools..In my world, April Fools is everyday starting from January 1st on..when I had 'hopes' of a new beginning, a fresh start..but only to be disappointed...

In the midst of this life changing fiasco I've been neglecting (indifference) my physical health; so much focus invested in keeping a status quo mentally that I've abandoned managing my...

Our house has been listed and is now on the market..I have been inundated with immense sorrow reflecting on past novelties & an uncertain future while struggling to maintain focus on issues...

It was late January 1977; a cold, gloomy winter evening - growing up in the Northeast region (Jersey) that I heard the news & read the news paper that one of my favorite actors at the time, Freddie...

A cold, dark, windy, rainy, dreary day...Ahhhh, the perfect back-drop for an everlasting, chronic, melancholic disposition...

Alone here at work; it's so quiet here that I wonder what lurks with all the unfamiliar sounds..my auditory senses can make such a fool of me!I dread going to a house that's no longer a home, only to...

Depression, now has phased into a state of indifference; circumstances & their respective aftermaths seem to have predetermined outcomes; just following the daily course in zombie-like...

Wasting much time; mentally confined to thoughts misaligned with THY'S sublime; seeking a purpose that's undefined..The blessings I've forgot, consumed of all I am - NOT!  Living indifferently...

I have seemingly mastered the art of reclusiveness; expressing thoughts from casual questions are cautiously guarded with precision - I stumble, at times, during my scheduled sessions, for clarity...

...is the outlook of my future.  Current forecasts are continued rain-storms but  even darker clouds & a monsoon on the horizon loom...There's no respite..I continue to be plaqued by my...

Fate has extended my earthly stay & commissioned me to see another birthday - today...

Life isn't for everyone; I'm now convinced of this..suicide, for me, isn't limited to being relieved of pain but the avoidance of having to 'live' - I have a phobia of life (biophobia) - an...

People say that fighting for your life is a worth while cause..I've been here 45 yrs and have yet to reach that conclusion..This isn't something I recall signing up for - like a war, we are drafted...

There is a place that some of us reside that's halfway between life & death; a place where darkness & light converge; where day & night merge...It's a place where conscious decisions are made to...

My home life is in shambles..it is a very cold environment.  We are no longer even talking..We live in a 2-story house; she stays upstair & when I come home, I don't go upstairs to greet her.  I...