A constant struggle for survival..
Our house has been listed and is now on the market..I have been inundated with immense sorrow reflecting on past novelties & an uncertain future while struggling to maintain focus on issues requiring so much undivided attention. The separation of jointly owned possessions, including those from others celebrating our marital union, etc. slices deeper scars in still born wounds..I am surmounting all that I have to keep from submitting to the overwhelming hipnotic suicidal state that beckons me to surrender completely..daily survival is taking so much strenuous effort on my spirit..
Today (& everyday) is supposed to be yesterdays' hope for a better tomorrow but instead has injected novacane into all my operable veins; leaving me anhedonic to everyday living - it just hasn't been better nor easier..the desire to give up is only superceded by the inertia to do nothing..
Today (& everyday) is supposed to be yesterdays' hope for a better tomorrow but instead has injected novacane into all my operable veins; leaving me anhedonic to everyday living - it just hasn't been better nor easier..the desire to give up is only superceded by the inertia to do nothing..
Replies
Awww Sweetie. God, I KNOW this is rough! The redistribution and separation of possessions is just rank misery. The positives: this is a great time to get on the market. I hope it all works out to satisfy you as much as possible. i am SO sorry for all the pain this beings on and the exhaustion! I wish there was something I could do..... just know you are in my thoughts and I m sending good vibes and strength to you. Have you found your place yet? Here for you.
I do so hope you will find extra strength today to face your difficult challenges. Carry on for your child\'s sake and know in time you will work through the issues you are dealing with right now. Please choose life my friend. Hugs.
Just my opinion here based on my own previous experience in this situation,
the divorce was bad enough but sorting out who gets what just seemed to pour
salt into an already gaping wound.
I know this isn\'t at all easy for you to go through, but still, it\'s something that has to be done.
If time allows, just go through a few things at a time rather than working on it all day.
Your already overwhelming depression is only being added to right now, but,
it will get easier in time. Once all the sorting is over with and the house sold, just maybe you can begin to take a new path in your own life.
Don\'t doubt your own strength, you\'re a heck of a fighter and this is a temporary setback.
Stay strong my friend, you will succeed!!!!!
Huggs to you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I am not in such a good place right now...so no advice. But I want you to know I care. huggs
My hope for you is that when the dust clears (and it will my friend) that you take some time to create a space of healing. I know t hat might seem like a crazy idea to you but I offer this suggestion with the certainty that life is always a mixture of blessing inside and out.
Mal I\'m so sorry. I didn\'t realize that you were getting separated/divorced. It is an extremely difficult situation to go through. I lost the love of my life 4 years ago and still want him.
I don\'t know what to tell you to help with the pain. I\'m not much for the \"time heals all wounds\". I feel just horrible that this is/has happened to you. You are an awesome guy!!!!!
(((HUGS)))
Mal - I feel your pain. Hang in there buddy. It does get easier - but that doesn\'t make it hurt any less. It\'s hard, but being determined to live for myself is the only thing so far that has rescued me from the pit of despair. And not that I\'m doing it successfully. I\'m still isolating, depressed - self-depressing even according to my therapist. And I don\'t disagree. But I\'m still here, despite my thoughts and wishes to the contrary on more than one occasion.
I know you\'ve heard all the clich remarks. Things about time, and about new beginnings, etc. It doesn\'t help the pain go away. The ache and the longing - the constant loneliness. The overwhelming feelings of abandonment. It\'s all part of the process. Yes, it hurts. It\'s an overwhelming pain that I don\'t wish on anybody. Eventually we have to pick ourselves up. Or just manage to get out of bed and be productive. As much as we just want to lie in bed under the covers, the world awaits. It doesn\'t stop. We can participate or languish. Be kind to yourself, Mel. Take time for yourself. Discover (or re-descover) things that you enjoy. And take things one day at a time. I like the Dalai Lama quote that goes something like this - there are only two days a year that you can do nothing about. Yesterday and tomorrow. Focus on today. (((HUGS)))