Limbo..

There is a place that some of us reside that's halfway between life & death; a place where darkness & light converge; where day & night merge...It's a place where conscious decisions are made to survive or surrender - the default of indecisiveness is an existence of indifference; it is a place where one is in constant struggles with self - being your own worse enemy & adversary - mediating conflicts between your Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde persona; wanting refuge from your own solitude; trying to mute those self-defeating, screaching thoughts;  you try to hypnotically will yourself into oblivion before trying to physically send yourself there; you spend most of your conscious moments dreaming of ways to extinguish the flames of your anguish..You battle insanity with unaltered stragedies expecting your problems remedied..You feel your soul is trapped in an earthly tomb & the world is nothing more than a graveyard..It is a place where you fear taking the journey to discover your own identity; you instead try to mold yourself into the world's perspective believing that yours will always be unaccepted & rejected..It is a place where your own misery imprisions you - building walls to keep joy & peace out & unhappiness in; you are disconnected from the world leaving you abandoned & isolated; this is a place where you have chronic anxiety of living & panic attacks of dying..You walk in this plane of the living in darkness and irrationally believe a place of refuge exists in the unknown plane beyond..this is a place where being in crowds leaves you most naked & vulnerable - chronically paranoid that all your insecurities are exposed; this is a place where the emotionally & mentally wounded reside from failed attempts at living & have surrendered -  this is a place for the physically & mentally wounded reside from failed attempts at dying; it is a place for those in limbo who are lost & don't know where to go; they are constantly in despair; they can't make peace with their past & see an eternal future enslaved in suffering..
This place is called HELL; where I reside..