In the midst of this life changing fiasco I've been neglecting (indifference) my physical health; so much focus invested in keeping a status quo mentally that I've abandoned managing my diabetes..yesterday & today I tested my blood/sugar for the first time since last August upon feeling symptons - I had a reading of 460 mg/dL - a health reading should be around 100 mg/dL or slightly below..I'm feeling the familiar symptons of frequent urination, excessive thirst, and constant fatigue - I have to sleep in my car at lunch just to get thru the afternoon..The last time I almost went into a diabetic coma after reaching 680 mg/dL in 2011; this time I really don't care; I'd rather let nature take it's course..I'm so tired, fed up, and honestly just don't want to take ownership or responsibility of this life anymore..I don't necessarily want to die but I don't want to live either; can't stand this pedestrian/limbo state I'm in; I just feel like taking my hands off the steering wheel and let fate take charge here on..