mal66

I found out this past weekend that I have diabetes 2; another life changing adjustment. It will make me take a daily itemized look at my physical health which may also help alter my mental health -...

Today I feel like I'm drowning again; in over my head and I just want to give up and sink; I'm trippin' and I'm slippin'.  I actually thought about taking drugs (coke) just to try something new;...

I believe my mother gave birth to twins; one good, the other evil.  The evil one has grown to be twice my size and beats on me regularly; he wants me to self destruct by isolating myself from...

My anxiety about the future is diabilitating & paralyzing; I fear it greatly.  Although my depression isn't at suicidal levels as it was last week, I also fear it may return again.  Today marks a...

Thoughts of the future are like shackles around my feet tied to a boulder that weights a ton and it's keeping me from moving forward...

...so I can find you!

I turned in my fire arm last nite to the city police headquarters.  It was scary; when I got there I parked in the back and called dispatch.  He said 'someone' would be out.  Well 10 minutes...

Today was my first day with a new Therapist/Psychologist.  She wanted to know where my level of suicidality (is this a word?) is at...told her I've planned how - she asked how(?)...I told her I'd...

God, please deliver me from life's stormy weather, It's brutal here; does it ease up & get any better?...I curse the beginning of a brand new day,This burden's relentless, and I just can't find my...

My inspiration to continue on everyday is very fluid.  There are some moments I have it and some I don't.  For that reason I've kept my 'red' face on (Horrible)...I feel that I struggle to at...

I'm trying to break my drinking habit and give my new meds a chance to work. Only had a beer (Michalob Ultra) last nite - only 1. Proud of myself. I was tempted, but resisted. The thought of...

I pray to GOD everyday for him to do my 'dirty work'; he gave me a taste of what he's capable of and almost answered my prayers.  I was coming home (well not really, on my way to the liguor store)...

I awoke this morning with tremendous anxiety of the future; my marriage has been giving a 1yr timeline before me and my wife make the transition to separation and then divorce.  I feel very angry,...

So far things are going ok;  this is a rare occurance for me that I'm uneasy.  Paranoia/pessimism still rules!  Am I being set up?  I'll tread with caution and try not to look for things to go...

Today's my birthday!  As of last week I wasn't sure if I'd be here to write this...Met with the Psycholigist and I will start a brand new med today; will see where this leads.  My efforts are still...