amethyst223

I'he read a lot lately in different groups I'm a member of for moms ...parents who have had a child die. We all know its a terrible pain and a void that never seems to be filled. Very early on this...

September 12 came & went. Aside from feeling scattered I managed to get through it. I'm still in disbelief that Randy Lee would be 30 yes old. This was the 12 birthday in heaven.  Me ....I'm still...

september 12 marks the day my heart realized true Love. Not a boy girl first love, a new puppy or anything that brigs us joy. I'm talking about that moment when you hold you child in you arms for the...

For me, this day is always difficult. It's my 12th without Randy Lee here with me. I don't care how far we come in our journey - how much we grow there is still a rawness to the loss that we carry...

It was a very long day at work today and I must admit, it's been an emotional week though I've really tried to keep that to myself. That's sort of hard to do in my line of work but I know in my...

11 years - 4015+ days. To look at that seems like a lifetime and to realize it's how long it's been since I've seen my son's face is mind boggling. I know I see it in pics but I mean really seen him....

This is really a 2 part post so let me start with the less angry of the two.  I can't believe yet another holiday season is over without Randy Lee and yet another year is about to start where he's...

This is by far not one of my favorite times of year at this point in my life. Losing a child sort of takes that sparkle out of the holidays. Christmas was a sad place in our lives 15 months before...

It's been awhile since I've been on here.  I really try to stay positive in life and to find the good in all things. There is always something positive in any situation. The work I do - psych rehab...

I work for an amazing agency in a small town in MD. We do psych rehab and I manage the team who works in our community residential program. My team serves 18 people in our 6 apts and over all our...

I try so very had to stay positive and mostly I am. I truly mean it when I say I'm thankful to God for the 18 years I had Randy Lee here to hold ~ the good and the bad times. If God came to me and...

A friend of mine posted one of those random life quotes on facebook the other day about how people are afraid to talk to someone about their child who has passed away. I commented that, at least for...

Well I survived July~ I felt tugged in 100 directions and at times felt I was drowning but it's over and I'm still here.  Has anyone ever done anything like a memory page for their child to mark a...

My best friend Richard always says two things about me ~ that I don't know how to truly relax (he's right) and that I wear my heart on my sleeve. The second I beleive is simple a testement of how...

Even seemingless calm holidays are bothering me this year. All I can think about are the picnics we had at our house when Randy Lee was growing up. How excited he always was for all the family to be...