Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
a couple of years ago...I figured out I was, well, somewhat intersexed in the head? third gender? something like that.
Today my therapist and I were talking about...parts of me that got split off. Not sure what they are, exactly, I don't disappear and have them take over...but they seem to have their own opinions about things. I've met them recently...
At any rate, my therapist pointed out something that should have been obvious...the 15-year-old boy in my head...he kind of stopped growing and went away as my body became more female...and I became severely depressed for reasons that...I don't think were related.
She said I had better think about it really hard before I do hormones, considering this...
The thing is...I am still very happy at the thought of becoming a bit more masculine. In fact, figuring out I was androgyne...made me appreciate my body. It's way, way far from the feminine ideal, and even sans hormones, I get called sir all the time (YAY!) I think I'm going to feel even more positive about my body if I become a hair more masculinized...slowness and caution are the watchwords, but I still want to.
The idea of becoming more masculine...it makes me absurdly happy. Which rather says it's a good idea.
But am I just, I dunno, in a phase of some sort???
Today my therapist and I were talking about...parts of me that got split off. Not sure what they are, exactly, I don't disappear and have them take over...but they seem to have their own opinions about things. I've met them recently...
At any rate, my therapist pointed out something that should have been obvious...the 15-year-old boy in my head...he kind of stopped growing and went away as my body became more female...and I became severely depressed for reasons that...I don't think were related.
She said I had better think about it really hard before I do hormones, considering this...
The thing is...I am still very happy at the thought of becoming a bit more masculine. In fact, figuring out I was androgyne...made me appreciate my body. It's way, way far from the feminine ideal, and even sans hormones, I get called sir all the time (YAY!) I think I'm going to feel even more positive about my body if I become a hair more masculinized...slowness and caution are the watchwords, but I still want to.
The idea of becoming more masculine...it makes me absurdly happy. Which rather says it's a good idea.
But am I just, I dunno, in a phase of some sort???
Your therapist has a point, becoming more masculine may sound better but in practice is a rather convoluted thing. Another thing that maybe more helpful would be to be diagnosed by a certified gender therapist to be sure that is what is going on with you. Not to mention that in order to get said hormones, you'll need the okay by a gender therapist anyway.
As for looking masculine, being called Sir and those other factors you mentioned are only a miniscule part of transitioning, once you begin a hormone therapy,it is considered transition, the biggest part would be living in male dominated world as a male, which I may say is anything but easy.
That is not to mention that testosterone do far more to you than simply making you look masculine. It will also alter the way you think, feel and your world perspective. It will also raise your cholesterol level, your heart attack odds and you'll have to get a hysterectomy at some point, as testosterone atrophies your ovaries and raises your ovarian cancer risk by 100%.
That's just to name a few things to think about, not to mention that your mention of a 15 year old boy in your head, that also needs to be looked into just to be certain, it was not dissociative issue, and if it was so, it needs to be addressed before transition.
Hope this helps,
Wolf