malibumark

I woke up this morning and my mind undermined me pretty drastically.My mind takes me to places that are so fractured and seemingly out of control, out of order, out of function.But I slowly accepted...

Weird weird day, totally ungrounded but grounded as well, two sides of myself colliding met by me with a sense of humor and an 'oh well!' I was so disconnected from the service I just gave but it was...

I had a vision of a light man (God) pulling me from the front of meand a dark man (the devil) pulling me from the backof me - both were trying their best to have strength butin the end I think they...

I'm behind the iconostasis, waiting for service to start. I want to goof off and enjoy the cool spring morning sunshine.Time to focus!

I think I just realized that I think creatively at times in order to keepmotivated about the work and life in front of me to keep it going.Like the last journal - and so many of the previous...

I conducted a vigil last night until midnight. We don’t have service this morning but I came down for coffee. We’re eating in about an hour. Things are good. I’m thinking about reading letters...

When I would get cranky and cantakerous and not know what to do with myself,my Mom would say to me "Please yourself" - and I responded and will again now"I can't" - it seems that "Doing what I am...

feeling bad because I feel iritated. It's occpuying my headand I just talked to my Dad and it made me feel like I was hurting his feelings.It just felt like 'that's all there is to me' -- hyper focus...

After my procedure:)

I've learned so much in the past few days. Do you remember whenI said I had been in that physical therapy officeand they chatted with me until they concluded "ohperfect perfect " and they said...

i know the answer to this doesn't have to be entirely one thingor another - I don't know why I have to talk about this - but I am compelled to. last night I felt so energized, optimistic and capable...

I'm grateful for my growth and I am trying to stay regulated going forwardNotes from last weekend's trip:it's weird how i just keep going. I am grateful for my stamina and ability.If I were to focus...

I’ve been thinking about stuff and about the little drive I have for making money. I realized it’s not a destination but a dynamic. To keep myself self in goods a services is what my goal is....

I've found some acceptance here for what I have to deal with.Again I get tired and fractured and frazzled but I know I can carry on and keep on...I've been able to observe management styles here...

I'm grateful for this place because I became so tired after working for a while in my room alone that I just started to do too many things too fast that's why I sat for a moment down in the coffee...