Best I can
I just wanted to write here that I’ve gained some real important insight today. I can see two sides to my reality that was pretty separate before.
I’m ok, though my mood is really unstable. I go from happy and engaged and constructive in action to ‘on my own’ and feeling worthless, paranoid, and a deep sinking depression. The good thing is, at the very least, is I’m noticing the two sides of it though now. Normally I’d be spinning some wild ideas just to feel some sense of stability and self mastery. I know how to motivate to keep effective and heal this as best I can.
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So I’ve come back to my room after a long day, supported by my new appreciation. I feel strong in keeping things in a focus. Quite honestly though, I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve watched some pbs on my laptop. Made a post on the site, made tea and cuddled with Blue. I’ve been laying in bed looking at my phone and this may seem spoiled but the issue for me tonight is that I wish I had more choices of activities here in my free time at the rural monastery. I this is where inventiveness and creativity come into play.. It may sound funny but I think the local community center has bingo. I’d love to see what that’s like.:)
well done, grasshopper. unstable moods happen. way to manage yours. i've been mood swinging like a beaten crazy bitch wolf today. been countering the swings with a mental tour of various bridges i've lingered on, watching the water flow beneath my feet, letting my feelings flow with the currents. ever changing. never changing.
i've loved every bingo parlor/event i've ever attended. they have all had a gentle comradery that left me feeling easy. big sis keeps hounding me to take her to the bingo parlor across the street from our favorite bbq joint, but? ? ? ya know, ya know. . . so much world and so little time.
Bingo sounds like a good time Mark
I haven't played for years but it's friendly and upbeat and maybe even a prize!
My moods have been off as well
The world is so crazy and disturbing right now
One thing I always remind myself of during these times are that feelings aren't facts
Sending big hugs...xo
Thanks Arfie and Jan!! Have a good day ahead!