malibumark

Something funny happened today.There’s a nun here, who is visiting and is super overbearing and crazy. I’ve mentioned her in my lamentations lolI’m dealing with her this morning and I’ve...

guys, i became really angry with my life today.i mean, i felt like i had to be aggressive to get any kind of work done.then that agressivity grew in an extremeness. little things angered meand so...

I have so much to be grateful for in life.I took some extra time for myself from monastic duties today - and I realized I feel a great hesitancyabout doing that here at a place where I am expected...

I think we all can get a little scared sometimes.When we're faced with life choices, leaps of faith, trustand considering what kinds of things we want in our lives, new directions.It's like I look...

Again I'm thinking to challenge certain pitfalls with my thinking. As in the last journal, I talked about how moments of disconnect can make me feel isolated, solitary, different and helpless. "But...

I'm weary mentally for having woke up with my mindfiring away at me in a way that I could not stay on top of.Call it creativity or human animal nature. All sorts of mental wrong turns ensued.My mind...

I put up the lights and I might get some garland too. Blue and I are resting before I go to midnight vigil!

I do feel incredibly lucky to be safe amongst fellow vulnerable people here on the site and where I live here at the monastery. Sorry I get so objective sometimes. My mind has a weird way of making...

I've got the morning off. Hanging with Blue, listening to the radio and got the window cracked open for some cold Fall air! A priest's room.

I know I can't see my misgivings about makinga path forward for my self to be a 'non starter.'I am not the only who feels insecure or perhapstoo weak in the face of the enormous new pathahead of me....

I was taking a break from services this morning and then errands in Frederick.I was laying here with Blue and I felt out of control. I was trying to feel groundedI tried to pull myself down from all...

I paid all my bills this morning! A good feeling. I've set up church and service starts soon. 

I think maybe we're meant to be tortured, otherwise we wouldn't be conscious, we would stand for any old standard and we would get nothing done.Ill be grateful and keep on keeping on.

I know I've talked to you guys about having a 'challenge of the day' and my thoughts go towards trying to motivate myselfto get on with the chores and responsibilities in life.I was out this morning...

my mind is like an open soreit's hard to keep moving forward I’m in bed resting and burying my head in the pillow.I can’t possibly think about all the things I am supposed to be. But laying here...