fell off the emotional wagon tonight
guys, i became really angry with my life today.
i mean, i felt like i had to be aggressive to get any kind of work done.
then that agressivity grew in an extremeness. little things angered me
and so then I went from a place of emotionally managing myself to feeling
super isolated and 'mark against the world.' my dad and I talked and
we couldn't make sense of it until I finally said to him "maybe I need to normalize things like this"
"I go from a place of stability for a few days and then I go to extremes" "Maybe that is
in part of what it's like to be me." He thought that's the truth. The thought brought me
down to earth. Gosh I feel bad for unloading on him
like that. But I am so very grateful. I called my therapist, who I will talk to tomorrow,
and said we should work on that. Thanks friends, very grateful for your support and comradery
and friendships. You're not alone. Embraces for all of the parts of ourselves - we are worthy.
Replies
I’m glad you were able to get a hold of your instability and your kind dad today but sorry that you were so angry. You did a great job identifying it and realizing you needed to bring yourself back down to earth.
My feelings of instability sometimes appear days apart and sometimes weeks/months apart. Maybe we have to experience instability to fully appreciate stability.
I hope all goes well with your therapist tomorrow. Sleep well.
Big hug Mark...It's good that you could talk it out and realize that it can be just a symptom of the disorder thus I truly believe that normalizing it is a good thing
And you made a plan to discuss it with your therapist
I think that you did all of the right things to care for yourself
I think that it's wise for us to both be aware of what different symptoms are that we may experience as well as what things may help us to get through difficult times/moments
Especially if we experience some syptoms more frequently
There are times that I am the Queen of four letter words
Thanks Susan and Jan!
"normalizing" gets my vote. i might even go for the royal we in that it is normal to have emotions. we all get them. even anger. alas, the royal we ends there. we all have emotions, but the mix and management of those emotions is as individual as life gets. still, even there, there is a "normal-for-me." i save allot of time by skipping the surprise reaction that i am having a particular emotion AGAIN.
to continue spinning down that line, letting my inner freud out of her cage for a moment, i am going to speculate that you have a long, long habit of shamefully repressing your anger. in my own case, my anger gets downright volcanic when repressed and will erupt at the most unpredictable of times. learning how to recognize and accept my own anger is critical in my own case.
thanks arfie! that's brilliant!! I appreciate you!