malibumark

It seems that managing my illness and the process of learning to do so, has really inspired meto abstract thinking about life and myself and learning not to be reactive but instead discoursive.This...

I realize I scrutinize things within my mind if you haven't noticed :( - this morning I was serving behindthe iconostasis - and I was fighting myself bigtime - it seemed thatmy higher power -...

feeling kind of meta in this journal... I had my therapy appointment today.I liked him. He put me in touch with my feelings in a way I haven't been.As soon as the appointment was over I couldn't wait...

I really enjoyed my new therapist. I've been thinking about him. I've got to shift gears now, as I'm kind of having tunnel vision. 

I know I go off the deep end with this stuff folks - I apologize -I just have to sort through what I am inspired to think about -My mind splits so easily - and frankly I get so frightened when I...

I came down to church at 5am and set things up, now I've been on my phone messing around.Things are good. Starting to plan a bit what I'll do with my free time today. I might clean the altar. I'll...

I have so much energy right now, mental energy, that is. I feel like a fake for how I am thinking about the monastery right now. I have to focus on carrying myself through to more stabile times and...

At first I thought this might be helpful to someone else...as it seemed helpful to me - and yet then when I decided to write it downI got interupted by a personal admin thing and so now I finally...

...like I began to talk about in the journal yesterday, 'people are not icons' -this was really helpful - especially this morning. I reached out to my brother to talkand he didn't answer the phone -...

I'm here in my room, under the covers because I have fever, aches and pains and dizziness. I am understanding that I may like a sensitively reasoned argument to life's questions and I care a lot but...

thanks for letting me write this here. One of the high ranking nuns - okthe former abbessand another priesthad an attitude with me this morning at service forsome reason. It just made me feel...

Things are good. I am realizing that each day is a gift - so I am goingto take it to the fullest! SO happy!! I hope you guys will seize hold of your lives too! We're lucky!!

I think I have started to see that very often or habitually I focuson the emotional truth of a situation but I don't reconcile that withhow I actually feel. I can respect and honor the emotional...

finding answers at the monasteryI find myself getting more and more comfortable hereat the monastery - and learning a great deal along the way as I have detailedhere in my journal. I found...