malibumark

it's been kind of a mixed up day... moments of up - moments of down...moments of clarity..moments of confusion....moments that I see and accept that I just kind of have to mentally sew togetherthe...

feeling meaningless and incredibly light this morning...I woke upat the usual time, got dressed and zoomed over to get coffee at 5am.Came home and my life feels pointless, with out meaning - - but I...

Went to St. Max's church today. They have purple roses blooming out front. I thought it is a nice touch.

I suppose I should just drop it -I was feeling paranoid and nervous and depressed on a zoomcall with my family today. I just felt a mix of uncomfortable feelings with no ryhme or reasonbut was trying...

Blue has been crying a lot lately. I tried to calm him down with affectionat different times but in truth the affection didn't work. Frankly I did geta little impatient but I didn't let it out - and...

It was nice though!!

for some reason, some times, I take a mental 'wrong turn' and my reality plummets into a blind vortex of asking 'why, why, why?' - In the moment I am drowning (in my body) butI am realizing that...

Yesterday I kind of had an epiphany about how I react to my ownset of choices and instincts to move forward with what I would liketo do...Blue then crossed my path at home and I suddenly decidedthat...

I think I have needed such a sense of control over my life, that I've buried myselfin wisdoms and questioning and 'ways to go' about things.I'm feeling pretty well right now. I realize sometimes we...

I am going out of town in early March.The thing is, I have my cat here and I need somehowto have him looked after while I am gone.The rescue owner from whom I got him can board him.The trouble is...

I went to work this morning and right before it started I wrote the previous journal.Then work began and I got 'into it' - and it went well - but I startedto fatigue and my mind started churning...

It’s weird how we need to be in touch with the limitations of what we can do in order to self manage without becoming illAnd yet being in touch with those feelings can make us feel powerless lonely...

I was going to write Nikki a message but I might as well say it here.When I went to the Christmas concert last night, at first it was hard to believe in myselfwhile wandering alone in the crowd at...