mahalarose

I don't fit at home. I don't fit at school. I don't fit in with my friends. I have been so wrong about everything. I keep staring into blankness, Like when we get changed for p.e in the changing...

I feel so completley low. I wish I haddn't eaten because it's just churning in my stomach making me feel sick. My Grandad has died..Now my Dad's moods are even more unpredictable and I'm scared he'll...

three meals in three days. I've given up milk now (much to my mothers dissaproval) sigh.. It makes me puke anyway and I now have soy milk. It's quite nice I think. Anyways i'm 62 now.

Aparantly Vicky is "concerned" about me. when my friend asked her if Vicky had seen me around she said "no, Haven't seen Mahala all day" That is fucking lies. I saw Vicky twice and each time she...

I went to a friends birthday and I swear I ate fucking meat. I hate not being able to cook my own food not to see where it is or use my own knives..I felt so upset with myself. They were eating...

Yay and they were my friends eletrical scales too so it's exact

Broken bleeding dying and weak. I can't write. I don't want to eat Just want to bleed. Just want to be lost forever.

I totally hate how I am feeling right now. I just want to be left behind but fucking people keep talking to me. As long as I have a pen,paper and blade I'd be fine. Perhaps my car too. I don't need...

So I think everyhting is going okayish..I feel like I am livingonce again and not so burdened by this darkness..I haven't weighed myself and I don't want to. School soon! Umm I want to go back...

So I was in the car with my Dad wearing shorts and they lifted off my knee a bit because my legs were strecthed out and he said "how's you get that scar?" I said Iunno.. He wouldn't let it drop...

Why does everybody know about vicky dumping me. Everybody is saying "sorry to hear about you and mahala" on her bebo page. people on msn start conversations asking if im okay, have I haerd from...

I can feel the bone in my right arm and all I want to do is break it. None of this life is fair, all I ask if for one fair thing.

Aparantly the cat being sick on the chair is my fault. This made my Mother angry at me and she was just out of the door when she realised. I don't want to fly anymore. I want to be thrown into to...

I want to fly. To hold my head back and gaze into the sky and feel the wind lift my wings. I want to be free from this suffocating darkness. I wake up and think, shit another day. I want to be able...

As if i couldn't sink any lower. My writing is going again. I am doing more things without realising. For example last night I was trying to get to sleep and then I thought of being raped and then I...