Ambrosia6

How do you judge if a therapist is helpful or not?  Is making good suggestions or not? I chose her because I knew I felt comfortable enough to feel my emotions in front of her - and I know getting...

why do i cut? why do i want to? why is life so difficult? why do i feel hopelessly lost? what can i do to change this? i cut today. 2 weeks since the last time. i gave my blades up last night,...

For those of you who may have followed my status updates yesterday - I'm okay.  Yesterday for some reason cutting was just really tempting, and I was in a bad place.  Depression was with me all...

Beth85DialoguePosted on 03/21/10, 02:51 am"jesus, i'm tired""sweetheart, I know."" Jesus, this world is so full of pain, not just mine but others too.""Come close to me. I see your pain, and I feel...

So I tealized the two times I cut recently were Thursdays. Thats the day after therapy, and also the day worship team rehearses for chapel the next morning. i sjipped out on worship team this week....

Major panic attack coming on. Working real hard on keeping that breathing steady. Could tell a housemate but that might not help. Safer to hyperventilate in bed, behind closed doors. ...

I did it again. Last night I cut. I can't stand the anxiety, or the emotions lying underneath.Today, looking at it, I feel like a hypocrite. Self-abuse can be found in animistic religions used to...

I had a good session today.  We talked about what it was like for me growing up as the 2nd of 8 kids in a homeschooling family, and some of the family dynamics, and how I responded to them as the...

You know the story of the one who fell off a cliff and clung to a branch - looking up to God praying for help.  And God said, "It's okay, let go." and the person was afraid to let go becuase a fall...

So, yesterday I cut after a massive panic attack.  I had been good for so long, but the fatigue, anxiety and everything is just getting worse and I started feeling like I couldn't think for several...

Panic attack yesterday, panic attack today.  Back to square one.  Can't seem to get through more than one day without one.  My 3 day w/o panic attacks goal is back to 0%.As for my not cutting...

My thoughts of SI are getting worse.  I see my therapist tomorrow.  I want to be honest with her, but I don't want her to think I need to be hospitalized.  I know I'm better off at home, cuz in a...

Last night I had all this pent up tension insdie and had to release it somehow.   And I'm refusing to cut, so I got this idea.  I pulled out a grapefruit and a steak knife, and mercilessly stabbed...

NO CUTTING!!!!  That's an order!!!!! Okay, Beth?

So, I've discovered sleeping is the cure to my anxiety.  If I get up early, then by the afternoon I'm so exhausted I have an attack.  If I sleep in til noon, I feel a lot better in the afternoon. ...