Ambrosia6

Hi, busy at home seeing ppls and also getting certain things done... (like a disability appeal.....)  I don't have as easy internet access here cuz I have to share the computer with several sibs,...

Wow, it's been almost a week since my last post.  That's unusual for me. I'm still exercising almost every day.  I think I can see myself starting to tone up a bit.  I'm finally down to half a...

This morning I was exercising, doing my DDR (dance game) and I recently started waving my arms around with 2 lb weights in my hands while trying to keep my feet hitting the arrows on the...

I"ve been watching a lot of the show 'Bonanza' lately. I got a DVD set of 34 episodes. No matter what evil they face, no matter who or what they come against, no matter which one of their lives is...

A package came from my parents w/my sister's new illustrated books (she's now a published illustrator!!) and a DVD with 2 of my siblings piano recitals.  (They're all so cute, especially my youngest...

just writing so I can update calorie and exercise on my weight loss goal. Long day - saw the new therapist.  Dissociated during session.  Which is a good sign, means I was comfortable.  She...

So, I went to bed at 10 with double ambien and slept well.  Also, before I bed I read my verses I'm memorizing, some Scripture, wrote in my Journal and read Neil Anderson's "In Christ list"  This...

Tomorrow I weigh in (I try to weigh in Tuesday mornings).  I've been good the last 5 days about eating and exercising so I hope I've lost something.  My weight when I started tracking was 182 and...

I hate evenings.  i have to figure out what to do about that.  I dissociate a lot.  I feel alone.  I feel too tired to do the things I would occupy myself with in the morning.  Maybe I should...

I don't know why, but when I get the urge to hurt myself, when I finally 'give in' and go get the blade, I can't do it.  I know it's a good thing.  But I don't know why I can't anymore.  Maybe I...

Dear Mr. B, Do you know how much pain you've caused me? Do you know how much your few minutes of fun has cost my life?? 4 and a half years of panic attacks, depression, cutting, suicidal...

1) Today I saw my therapist for the last time.  I'm switching to a new one.  I've met the new one once and I know she will be good for me, but, nonetheless, good-byes are always hard.  On top of...

I started feeling better yesterday and am fairly encouraged today.  It was discouraging when I saw both my therapist then my psychiatrist today and theyboth don't seem to understand why my anxiety...

Life is hard.  Multiple stressors today.  Been resisting cutting for 2 weeks as of yesterday.  Shooting for 4 weeks, but man, how do I keep resisting? I know the world's answer is to check myself...

Just weighed in - all-time high. Ouch. I did yoga today and sunday and my hamstrings are killing me. The dermatomyositis doesn't like me stretching my legs. But after awhile they'll get used to...