Ambrosia6

So I tealized the two times I cut recently were Thursdays. Thats the day after therapy, and also the day worship team rehearses for chapel the next morning. i sjipped out on worship team this week....

Major panic attack coming on. Working real hard on keeping that breathing steady. Could tell a housemate but that might not help. Safer to hyperventilate in bed, behind closed doors. ...

I did it again. Last night I cut. I can't stand the anxiety, or the emotions lying underneath.Today, looking at it, I feel like a hypocrite. Self-abuse can be found in animistic religions used to...

I had a good session today.  We talked about what it was like for me growing up as the 2nd of 8 kids in a homeschooling family, and some of the family dynamics, and how I responded to them as the...

You know the story of the one who fell off a cliff and clung to a branch - looking up to God praying for help.  And God said, "It's okay, let go." and the person was afraid to let go becuase a fall...

So, yesterday I cut after a massive panic attack.  I had been good for so long, but the fatigue, anxiety and everything is just getting worse and I started feeling like I couldn't think for several...

Panic attack yesterday, panic attack today.  Back to square one.  Can't seem to get through more than one day without one.  My 3 day w/o panic attacks goal is back to 0%.As for my not cutting...

My thoughts of SI are getting worse.  I see my therapist tomorrow.  I want to be honest with her, but I don't want her to think I need to be hospitalized.  I know I'm better off at home, cuz in a...

Last night I had all this pent up tension insdie and had to release it somehow.   And I'm refusing to cut, so I got this idea.  I pulled out a grapefruit and a steak knife, and mercilessly stabbed...

NO CUTTING!!!!  That's an order!!!!! Okay, Beth?

So, I've discovered sleeping is the cure to my anxiety.  If I get up early, then by the afternoon I'm so exhausted I have an attack.  If I sleep in til noon, I feel a lot better in the afternoon. ...

  I got this awesome journal 2 years ago and filled it in three months.  What I loved about it is that the pages are not stark white!  They are faded ivory/yellowish whatever you would call it...

I just snappedthere's this song we're singing in chapel tomorrow and I need to transpose it.I can't right now.  My stupid anxiety is way to high I can't think.  I can't do this simple thing.I'm...

Tuesday night when I had the panic attack that never ends (yes it goes on and on my friend....)  I was in the kitchen, wanting to put a box of crackers in the cupboard.  Well, my shelf was tilted -...

Started when I got off the computer and went to the kitchen to get a snack and glass of water before bed. Continued til I woke up this morning. Dreamed of calling my roomies for help. Sometimes...