Letting Go Part 2

I had a good session today.  We talked about what it was like for me growing up as the 2nd of 8 kids in a homeschooling family, and some of the family dynamics, and how I responded to them as the "superhero".  And, I told my therapist I'm jealous of Mom's dogs.  It's like we weren't enough to make her happy, after she stopped having kids, she had to get dogs and go into breeding.
Anyway, we talked about various things, and some of my therapists questions about my feelings were head on.  I also realized I feel guilty about being sick now.  It's like I try and try to help and make everyone's life better at home, and now I'm so sick, I can't.  I'm barely taking care of myself, and not really, cuz I'm not working but relying on my parents to support me.  I hate it.  And I'm not living at my parents house because I don't want them to have to take care of me, I don't know that they would.  I mean, they're so busy I would really have to push to get attention.  For whatever reason, I don't want to require anything from my family, I only want to give.