Ambrosia6

I don't even know what to say.  I know why I'm feeling the way I am.  I'm frustrated, annoyed, anxious, helpless, afraid, not hopeless yet but afraid that I will be if certain things don't turn...

IOP this morning, 2 hour nap, therapy session this afternoon, 2 hour phone conversation....wiped out - first fatigue & falling then panic attack.  Can't let myself get that tired!! Thank God for...

didnt sleep much from 2:30 on. its been a few weeks since i had a poor nights sleep. As I lay here a dawn was breaking, I started thinking of the song "Morning Has Broken"Morning has bro (bang...

I made it through Day 2.  I talked some, started to share my story. I saw the nurse, and told her about the DM (dermatomyositis) and that I fall on average 3 times a week.  So she put me on the...

Had my first day of IOP.  3 hours of group therapy.  The group leader was nice and didn't make me talk.   I'm sure she'll pry me open tomorrow though.  I know what i need is help acknowledging,...

Okay, I really did go today - as opposed to copping out like on Friday.  :p I was terrified of inpatient, and after the assessment the lady said I wouldn't qualify for inpatient anyway. ...

Gettin ready to go get assessed at the Christian mental facility.  Just need to log my exercise minutes on here and my weight.  I really don't want to do inpatient, but feel this obligation to be...

After getting away from the computer last night around midnight, I fell in the kitchen - twice.  Got myself to the couch.  Had a panic attack and flashbacks. I know I need help.  But I don't know...

Right now I'm in a 3 bedroom duplex with 4 girls.  2 sisters share the master bedroom.  They want to have their own rooms so have been looking for a place to stay, unsuccessfully.  Today they...

Last I cut was March 25th.  So, I've just about made it one month.  My new goal is to make it three - so through June 25th.  Here goes! It's nice that I'm starting already a third of the way done....

So, after all the fuss I made yesterday and this morning about going to get assessed at a mental facility - I didn't end up going. I had a weak moment this morning and texted my ride saying I wanted...

So, I saw the dermatologist this morning.  Says I'm doing well.  I'm going down to 10mg of pred, the 9 for a week, then 8 for a week, etc.  So approx. 10 more weeks of prednisone.  yay! I went...

So, this morning I woke up totally depressed and in a panic attack.  I wanted to cut sooo bad.  But I had a therapy appt at 1pm so I told myself I good hold off til then.  The appt was okay, but...

I'm TIRED.  Fighting off a panic attack and thoughts of cutting.  Just your average night.  (!!!)  When will this end? So, I was in calorie range today, and in range for carbs, proteins and fats...

Started calorie counting today and went as I feared.  I knew if I cut out the unhealthy stuff, I wouldn't be eating enough calories.  My goal is 1500-1800 a day.  I was just under 1500 today. ...