101swoop101
Status: Just trying to live life without falling apart. Hope I make it to the end in one piece...
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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I feel like shit. Even though in actuality, I probably ate less than 500 cals, I feel like I ate a thousand....I MUST WORK IT OFF! I hate this shit! I would feel so better if I was in my real body....
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I HAVE to work out now. I ate dinner......it had to be like 500 calories. I ate like 6-8 boneless BBQ chicken....like 2 or 3 spoonfuls of baked beans, and 2 or 3 spoonfuls of Brunswick stew...I am...
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I ate way too much today. I at some soup earlier....then I could only walk an hour. Then later, I ate 2 now and laters, 4...maybe 8 tic tacs....I drank some of my smoothie today....I drank a little...
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I am so hungry! Why are they making waffles! I need to go workout, but my roommates are in the living room...............FUCK! I wish I had Pro Ana roommates. Or roommates that aint care whether I...
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When does it end? The fighting to live, the denial, the scars and pain, the anger......everything I feel, hide, regret....everything that has become a part of me and my story because of him, when...
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There's dirt on my skin that will never wash off...like the blood flowing through my veins,it is a part of my that I can never get rid of...like my very spirit or soul,it has attached itself to...
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I am doing so much better now! I realize that God wants what's best for me! And I should be patient. Love doesn't hit just once.....just because my "true love" broke, it doesn't mean it's the end of...
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I think I'm depressed. I just ate some candy, don't feel like eating, but I'm a little hungry. My stomach was growling....and when I get to work, I don't want my stomach growling around the kids. I...
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When life doesn't seem to be going the way that it should go....the way you expected......or even the way God seemed to have told you it would....then what do you do? Do you not care? How do you let...
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I'm so angry with this world and my shitty life. It looks decent from the outside, but it is really fucked up. I have to fight to stay ok. I had to fight so hard to get my life where it is now....and...
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So...to finish my previous journal..........Saturday night is when I asked and pushed my ex to tell me if he loves her, and finally he said he loves her......I lost it.....I was laying in the bath...
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I'm trusting in God and being patient and waiting for things to work out, finally, between me and my ex - who God has kept in my life throughout the years, told me to be patient with (once 2 years...
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I could've killed myself this morning. I could've taken sleeping pills, laid in the tub, turn the water on, and let nature take it's course. And the sad part about it is, it wouldn't affect anyone's...
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If I were to just disappear, who would really grieve for me? Besides my family, who really loves me?
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All of my firsts are ruined. My first kiss...my first hickey....the first guy to see, touch, lick, & etc my body...my virginity....the first "guy part" I've seen.......it was taken by my rapist. Then...
dd