101swoop101
Status: Just trying to live life without falling apart. Hope I make it to the end in one piece...
Mood:
Ok
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- I'm always questioning if my ex really was emotionally abusive...and every time I talk about him being abusive, I always end up defending him and feeling bad. I feel like I'm over-exaggerating...but even he admits that he used to treat me badly. He...
- Weather I'm skinny, normal, overweight, or obese, I have never been able to see what others see. There have been times when I was losing weight and I thought I had gained weight. One time in particular, back in 2007, I was a normal weight and a bit...
- I'm doing good now...but I learned that I have some habits that comes from my ED. One is obsessing over the scale - I tend to weigh myself multiple times a day. It's just a habit, and I'm in control right now, so weighing or not weighing myself...
- I've been doing really good on being healthier. One thing I'm really intentional about is not counting calories....the only thing about that is, now I'm vegan. I have been vegan for about 2 weeks now, and I had been transitioning into it for a few...
- When people hurt, no matter how big or small the situation is, it can be very hard and lonely for the person going through it...........and for victims and survivors, it can be even worse. People have a very non-caring attitude towards pain. So when...
- I have to get a physical soonish.....I've avoided it for so long! I am really starting to stress out about it. The more I think about going to the doctor, the more anxious I get. Over the summer, I have to go and have them sign a paper saying I can...
- I'm starting to feel stressed out. I am required to get a physical by a doctor so I can keep going to counseling. I get why, but still.......I'm not a sack of bones. I just really got fully back into Ana last month. Before, apparently the disorder...
- So........my ex was so mad at me the other day. I sent a friend request to his girlfriend on facebook.....................what's the issue? Ok, I may have done it to be nosy. And if I wanted to send her a message and break them up, I would have done...
- My counselor says that 1000 calories a day is still too low. She says people diet at around 1500 calories...................that is a lot of calories.....I'm doing good to be ok with sticking around 800 calories. I have issues with restriction,...
- It's taken me so long to open up about some of the things that really, really shamed me about my rape. I was raped multiple times over a 4 month span. I don't remember how many times I was raped, but it got to the point where I really didn't even...
- My friend thinks I used to have an eating disorder. I was a healthy weight, and I maintained it by skipping meals. I was in band, and I almost passed a few times from not eating enough. So while in band, I tried to eat enough not to pass out, but...
- Most of the times, I say I am a survivor......but realistically, I am still affected by everything that happened.....no matter how I say I'm not, and that I am over it, I know that the scars are still there...I thought I was healed completely, but I...
- So it has been a long while since my trauma. I was raped the first time in September of 2006. When it first happened, I had trouble saying, writing, or even hearing the "R" word. I got to a point where I could write about it, and talk a little about...
- Hey. So I noticed today that I am still sensitive to the word "rape." When ever I see it, hear it, or even write it, it feels as if the word is highlighted. Most of the time (if not all the time), I feel like a spotlight is on me, and I feel a...
- I just learned last night that my rapist died back in 2010.......and I smiled. I feel bad that I find relief in knowing he "got what he deserved." I wish he would have been locked away and forced to face what he did to me....but he's dead. I want...