Pro-Ana probs :(

I am so hungry! Why are they making waffles! I need to go workout, but my roommates are in the living room...............FUCK! I wish I had Pro Ana roommates. Or roommates that aint care whether I eat or not. They asked if I wanted one, and I said no. One asked if I was on a diet, and I lied and said yeah, I'm staying away from carbs. I said I was gonna eat some soup soon..........I think I'm gonna wash up, go walk for about an hour, and then take a shower....I might eat a tiny bowl of soup first.............I'm scared of purging, but I might have to. Yesterday (last night), I ate a little of the soup....but I took castor oil before, so hopefully it's all out. I'll eat more once I hit my target weight. I don't have an eating disorder. It's a disorder if it controls you. I finally embraced the fact that I am kinda anorexic, but I can control it like I used to, and keep my weight at a certain (healthy) range. If people don't get in the fucking way! THe only thing I hate is that I can barely concentrate, and I'm very irritable all  the time (so I have to play nice, when I don't want to).
Sometimes I think people just get jealous when they see you starting to lose weight. That's why they try and get in the way...........even though I'm barely eating at all.....most days, I eat under 100 cals if anything, I'm still letting myself eat up to 500 cals...I just feel disgusted everytime I eat. And now that I've FINALLY embraced my friend ANA, I get angry everytime I betray her......she's been there this whole time...even when I first got fat...and so now, she's got my back and I will stay in control and keep my weight at a certain range...and keep my pants size at a certain number range...