maryelnew
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- some mornings are so hard to get out of bed. I wake up to images/dreams of Ron and so often they are the end of bad dream - or I almost get to see his face in a pleasant or neutral dream, but not quite. It then makes me want to go back to sleep to...
- I had read here that some say in some ways the second year is worse. I hit the one year mark last month and the start of the second year hit me like a ton of bricks. I retreated from this site, stopped my weight loss attempts, let my living space...
- the week was hard, had planned on easter with everyone and woke up w/a raging migraine, 3rd day this week. it really has set me back. im annoyed, frustrated and disappointed i missed the 1st holiday i have wanted to be with people in a year. noy...
- been sick to my stomach all day. I'm glad i took the day off from work. Will be spending it with a friend, but still don't know what I want to do. I'd like to go to the beach but it snowed today and it will be super cold there. Let's face it, it...
- sometimes i think I am just too logical. I so want to get angry at someone/anyone for all of this and for taking him away from me, but then I ask the proverbial who, what, why...to Ronnie who endured his illness as much as he could and suffered...
- I'm almost at the one year mark, that point in time when everyone else has moved on and very few people are probably aware that it is less than one month to mark one year of his passing. Anyway one of my friends told me yesterday, that she didn't...
- some small thing happened this morning that normally would have made me say to Ron "do you remember ...". It then dawned on me there is no one to have "our" memories with, it's just me now. Those memories don't mean anything to anyone but me. In...
- a few days ago I saw a picutre of my father in law. I knew my husband looked/sounded a lot like this date, but I had forgotten how much. In this particular picture, my father in law was probably about 15 years older than my husband when he...
- does anyone else feel this way? Of course I am grieving my husband, my best friend, lover, soulmate, buddy and pal. That is a grief that I don;t think will every truely go away and I am still even a long way to standing steadily on my feet. But in...
- just need to let it go. I know what all the triggers are -1) the snowstorm yesterday, we used to enjoy them together, even the snow shoveling. 2) the weather is warm, this winter has been warm and last year was SO cold and the disease that took him...
- I don't know why this comment is stuck in my head, but it is...I've been working hard on making my space my own and it is a work in progress, bu I think I'm about 80-85% there. I had a co-worker over the other day who had never been here. As she...
- I went to bed and set the sleep timer on the tv like I normally do, but then I decided to see if ,maybe, just maybe I could fall asleep without the tv on - nope, kind of drifted but then woke up. Now, I'm up and saying hello to all of you and hope...
- At my husband's funeral one of my cousins who is a widow took my hands and told me to remember to treat myself well. Periodically her words and her eyes as she spoke them pop into my head. Tonight was one of those, I treated myself by ordering...
- the time has come to get my scattered brain back in gear, it's been a little over 9 months now and I need to make a jump start to get myself/my home more organized. I never seem to have enough time in my days to get done what I want and when I do...
- just read someones post about wishing it were all a nightmare. It remimded me that many years ago I had a nightmare that my husband (who was out of state at the time) had died. It was so real that when I woke I could not tell if I had dreamed it...