Hi Mary, I am also doing a redo of my small house. Mine is mainly cleaning, accessorizing and rearranging the furniture I have. I've got an up on you -- because I'm a man and never in my life did anything like this before, early on I came to the conclusion that I can do anything I want and get away with it. It freed my creative juices. And as I've asked for advice from people that I respect, I have found that it really is all about what you like. You are the master of your own canvas. So if it looks good to you, that's all that matters.

So the home redo is way more about defining the new you, than it is about decorating. This is our opportunity for a redo of the who I am -- but first we have to take a journey to see who we were, and now, who do I want to be? What didn't I like about myself when my other was around. What were my shortcomings as a person, as a husband, as a wife? What would I do different if given another chance at a relationship?

And so Mary, I am finding the answers come only by asking the really hard questions. Our redecorating is really about the rebuild of ourselves. So who do we want to be? And once we can be comfortable with our answer to that one, it matters not what anyone else thinks of the "new and improved" Mary or Scott, and certainly not whether they like or dislike our choice of furniture. If you like it, that is all that matters. Same with the new you. ~~ Scottie

I would take it at face value. Just because she didn't comment on other things, doesn't mean she didn't like the rest of it. Just take it as a compliment on your furniture, pure and simple.

Hello. I think she genuinely liked your furniture and might have been thinking of her own which she didn't like. I'm pretty sure she liked your apt.

I agree with the 2 previous replies. She was saying something nice - don't try to make it more than that. Enjoy any changes you make. It is YOUR home. No need to feel insecure about anything you do. I recall a day not long after my husband's death when I said to myself: All the decisions now are mine to make. It's all up to me - if it needs changing later, I can do that also. It doesn't matter how others feel about your apt. If it pleases YOU, then it is fine. You live there, so you can add or take away anything you wish. Enjoy!

I think she likes your furniture. Like the above comments, I think she just saw something she liked and commented on it. Much the same way as if you were wearing a pair of shoes she particularly liked. Nice shoes, doesn't mean she doesn't like the whole outfit, just that she noticed the shoes in particular.

More important, if you like it then its good.

Hugs,
Val

Mary I believe your friend was being kind, and don' think she meant anything funny about it. we widow/ers, tend to make things a bit more than it was meant or is meant to be. I know I'm guilty of it. Don't worry, I believe she was being sincere. Much love and hugs, carla

For me, I think the layout of my place is aesthetically unappealing, but it works for me. My kids are quite OK with it. I'm pretty sure that many people I know would think it odd, and not say anything. That's OK with me, because what they think doesn't bother me.

A couple weeks after I moved in, I still had dozens of boxes all over the place. One relative seemed quite dismayed, but held her tongue for the most part. She did make some remark about putting things away. The funny thing was, I went to her house a few weeks later, and her place was more cluttered than mine! And she had lived there for many years.

I have to smile. It reminds me of an old Jewish lady who was complimented on her chicken dish, "So my turkey is no good?" LOL

I would take it at face value. She does seem a little forward, just strolling through your house. But, it seems harmless enough. Even if it wasn't, don't let her think she got to you. I do think it isn't anything to worry about.

I did replace everything when my husband died, after a year. I got to Bob sick, and needed to make the house mine. I realized I really like the color of maroon. It is in nearly every room of my house. lol People usually said I like red. I laugh and say, why yes I do.

Slim I would have told that relative something had I seen there place after making a comment about mine. I tend to say what goes around comes around. I wouldn't have been nice lol.

Mary ,I would have to agree with the others. Just because they don't comment on the rest of the place doesn't mean they don't like it ,maybe the furniture was nicer then she has or maybe it just caught her attention. Same as someone says about your outfit or your hair or shoes or jewelry.

I wouldn't worry to much as what she said or didn't say about the rest of the house. You are the one that lives there not them.

You are now creating a new you as even Scott said. Your finding things about you and your likes /tastes. If they don't like it ,tell them to bite it. Your doing the best you can with what you know or what to purchase.

A long time a the younger version of me would never tell someone off but now the older version of me doesn't have a problem telling people how the cow ate the cabbage. I started becoming like that few years ago,well before my husband passed.

I honestly don't feel she was meaning anything by not saying anything about the rest of your place. If it bothers you that much then ask her.

Just commenting on the "I got to Bob sick", thing in my post. I have no idea what I meant. Basically I was saying that I had to change everything, because it reminded me of Bob. He was so sick, and I didn't want to remember him that way. Pretty sure that's what I meant.

Mary, don't put yourself through this....."what did she/he mean?"

We've finally learned that there are much more important things to worry about in this life than the comments that people make. Want me to mention a few? I probably don't need to.

Move forward, fix your place the way it best suits you and pleases you. YOU are the most important being right now. How does it make you feel?

Don't worry, be happy!

Roz