xBlissx

I can't bare this anymore. These thoughts. Wanting to die. What is the point in trying to get through it again? It just comes back again...and again and again! I'm so tired. So fucking tired of it...

As if things arn't hard enough at the moment. This morning I was woken up by my Brother telling me to get dressed because they were calling an ambulance for my Nan and she's had a stroke.My Mum and...

So in true Borderline style I decided at 2am this morning that I WAS going to go back to the unit today. I'm glad I did.I used the morning catch up group to talk about why I left, how I was feeling...

I had my ward round. It was awful! They all sat there and said that my not talking, self harm, not being able to eat, and what hurt most of all, my 'suicidal threats' are attention seeking...

(If you haven't read my last journal entry, please read before this one) I met with my key worker today and completely broke down again. I explained how I was feeling but I've more or less had the...

I feel so deperate. Why wont the people at the clinic (including my tharapist) listen when I tell them I have suicidal thoughts!? Well, they listen, but I don't think they care. I thought my...

I had a Ward Round today (meeting with the team at the hospital) they've told me they're discharging me from Daypatients in May because it's not working. They want me to start tailing my days off per...

I'm sorry I haven't posted here for a while. I don't really know what to post. This is a support board for people wanting support and I just don't feel that way anymore.I don't WANT anything anymore....

Been holding it together again all day. Things getting more and more overwhelming the longer I hold it all in...and then 'crack!'I was about to leave to go home after day patients today and felt like...

Just felt very down today. Told my therapist that Family Therapy once again wouldn't be happening. He looked suspicous then just look a bit pissed off (but he wasn't with me). I think he knows...

Cut again last night. Staff know at the hospital but family don't.Don't really know what to say. Just thought I'd post to say I'm still around. There is so much stuff going on for me at the moment...

Come night time it's at it's worst...love to know why that is. Whatever mood swing I'm experiencing it's always worse by eve/night. Feeling destructive again but at the same time feel like I'm going...

Couldn't take it anymore after yesterday and I ended up self harming.It wasn't bad. Usually I do it on my leg but instead I just made loads of scratches on my wrist. I think I was teasing myself or...

Saw my therapist.Whether he got it or not I don't know. He didn't respond to it at all. There wasn't a conversation about it or anything.I left the session feeling completely...I don't even know how...

So. Saturday I posted because I was feeling really hyper etc. In my opinion it could have been hypomania. BUT at the same time my thinking patterns were still destructive. I wanted to self harm. I...