Can\'t Cope

I feel so deperate. Why wont the people at the clinic (including my tharapist) listen when I tell them I have suicidal thoughts!? Well, they listen, but I don't think they care. I thought my therapist cared but then why isn't he helping me? He's said "we're stuck" so many times in therapy. What else can I do!? I can't give him what my head wont let me! But instead of helping me they just pack me off home again! My therapist thinks he can help me but at the same time, he's just waiting for me to change. I can't change just like that! I'm not going to suddenly stop being suicidal and think..."oh silly me, why think like this?"They just don't get it and they wont until something bad happens. Until it's too late. Then it will be exactly that, too late. I've tried so hard to get them to hear me...it doesn't go in. And they wonder why I've given up!?I don't even think they take me seriously to be honest. If only they cared to TAKE me seriously they would ask more questions. They haven't asked me anything. They don't want to know because they think I'm just fucking about with them. Well me sitting here for the past two nights looking at websites about suicide and watching endless clips on YouTube about self harm and suicide ISN'T fucking about!! I'm not doing THIS in front of them! They don't know how fucking preoccupied with death I am at the moment...why? Because they haven't asked any questions. If they had they'd know that my suicidal thoughts have esculated...not only with how preoccupied with it I am but I didn't have a plan before. There wont be a fucking second chance like there are with others and their suicide attempts. There won't BE any attempt! If I finally decide to do it...I will do it and now the idea of death doesn't scare me.I feel like I'm literally hanging on by a thread for Thursday. I have Ward Round on Thursday where I mee with 'the team' and discuss treatment plans etc. If nothing changes I feel like that will be it. That will be the final switch. I'm giving them one more chance. I've had it with this shit!