malibumark

This journal is for me. I love design and I found that I like experimental, playful designbut also like the charm and strength of establishment design too. I try and mix the two.Somewhat playful...

It’s curious guys, the more ill I got and the less I began to date, and then retreat, the more I struggled with illness, the more I started to live in my own aesthetic of design choices and life...

I know we all have appetites for getting what we want. Right now I am struggling with mine. I also know rationally that I have to run this "business" or "Company."So I just have to keep pretty clear...

I used to be very spontaneous, creative and chatty...responsible about my studies and workand housekeeping. Now, the more I am here at the monastery I find myself having to redirectmy bubbly nature...

my mind churns away at fighting ideas and external input, future responsibilitiesand associating and seeks out another to relate to if I am only relating to myself.Right now that experience, it feels...

Sending prayers 

I took the day off from duties today. I drove to Gaithersburg where I shopped and had a coffee. I came home and put things away. Then I stripped my bed and washed everything, sheets and everything....

I wrote this to my sister. She pointed out to me that I oversimplify and idealize everything and that everyone struggles. It really helped. I wrote back:  Thanks again, I know we each struggle but...

Tonight I wrote the following texts which ultimately became about me starting to understand thatcoming here to the monastery has been a process of finding myself.Finding the understanding of my...

being here at the monastery really turns you inside out....there seemsso much focus on controlling the passions, and your self awareness of the passionsthat ultimately I've become really reactive and...

Jumping off what I mentioned last nightin terms of having a context of others and yet the liberality to go with my feelings.I guess all gobbledygook aside, today I'm finding that the waterline of...

hi guys, I am starting to see that amongst the sisters here at the monasteryI don't like admitting that I am getting tired - that I need to takea break. I don't fixate on what the others are doing...

I apologize, if these journals are too much, I understand...god willing at least I think they help me understand and give back to folks in confessionals and in general serving the community here at...