dream **possible triggers**

i had a dream with M in it last night.....oh God did it scare me and if i lived that epereince i would kill myself.......it slipped out that i had told people and then he looked at me, dragged me in a room and then beat me like he said he would......he raped me the exact same way....the gag, the slaps, the strangling, the pinned arms, the knife everything......and then when he was done i was laying there crying and he said,"tell everyone tat you told that it was a lie.....tell them you just wanted attention...tell them you lied..." and i refused and he pinned my arms above me again and rapedm e again, punching me, covering my mouth with his hand and then actually cutting my arm.....he said the same thing to me and i refused...he raped me for four times total and after that i finally told him i would tell everyone that it was lie....as he kept raping me it was more and more violent......i told him i would tell everyone that it was lie and that i told it for attention.....then he looked at me smiled and then raped me AGAIN.....i was screaming,"stop!!! i promise i'll tell everyone!!! please stop!!!!! don't!!!! i'll tell everyone it was for attention!!!!" when he was tired of my cries he shoved the towel in my mouth and pushed it so far in my mouth that i almost choked......he tied my hands above me and then tied them to something else to make sure that i couldn't move them......he raped me so badly that i was shakinf and then he licked my entire naked body and then carved the word "SLUT" under my breasts before my stomach......he rubbed the blood all over my body and then rubbed my blood on my face.....he looked at me and smiled then left me.....i closed my eyes not believing what i just agreed to do and then in the corner of the room i saw a list....it was the lsit of things he stole.....innocence, purity, virginity, self respect, hopes, dreams, wishes, life........everything......i have no idea what this dream means and i really wish i did......i might call my therapist today and ask her what it meant if anything.....i dunno