PTSD..............

my PTSD is currently in full gear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fell asleep at 1 a.m. last night.....i NEVER stay up that late!!!!!!!!!!!!! my eyes wouldn't stay closed and my heart jumped at the slighest sound......i sat in my bed pulled the covers over my head adn started crying, praying that my rapist wasn't in my house-irrational, i know-and i just sat there.....i clutched my teddybear and held on to him so tight that my knuckles were white and went to go to the bathroom and heard the floor outside of the bathroom creak-i think it was my brother-and stayed in tere for 30 minutes, until i got the courage ot leave the bahtroom.....when i did, i literally ran to my room, closed the door and laid down in bed....ug!!! i freak out every time i turn a corner and i'm just so scared that my rapistis gonna come out and rape me or someone else will!!!!!!!!!!!