I want to fly. To hold my head back and gaze into the sky and feel the wind lift my wings. I want to be free from this suffocating darkness. I wake up and think, shit another day. I want to be able to drive away from it all. Take my car, my chickens and start a new life by myself. I'm not even in the right body. I don't want breasts or fat. I don't want t eat the things my Mom makes me eat. I want to grow more of my own vegetables, I don't want to be made to eat cheese and drink milk. It's gross and if I turned vegan she'd shove meat down my throat. I didn't ask to have a family, not this family. when I try to talk they say "yeah yeah" and hush me. My Mom she just swears and shouts at me. My Dad well he's silent all the time then one day he lets it all go and I am the target. I become the bitch that isn't his daughter, the cry baby who cuts herself for attention. It hurts but not nearly as much as She has hurt me.  Come back to me Vicky, I'll get better and I won't be so scared to kiss you. I just want you to come back to me so we can go swimming down that water slide that was closed And so that we can walk all those bush walks that we said we would. Come back to me so when I return to school soon I will have someone to dry my tears when I get crowded into the corner by guys who think they can taunt and abuse me. come back to your girlfriend.