heretic

Some on I trusted kicked me when I was down. I was good to them. They lied to me and lied about me. It's not the first time it's happened, makes me really wonder about my ability to judge who to...

It's hard to ask for help for two reasons. One, I don't know what kind of help I need. Other than getting on the right meds, what kind of concrete help could anyone give me? I like the "support", the...

I so want to feel better. And I do feel better than in times past. I have to remember that. It's when I let my mind wander and dwell on past hurts and mistakes I really get so down. Memories can feel...

I don't like people. That is supposed to be taboo - something that is bad, shameful and should be changed. But I don't see it that way. Why is liking people a requirement of some sort? I find...

Sex and intimacy are two different things. One does not equal the other. Intimacy is becoming familiar with the other person on the inside - not becoming familiar with their body. Sex is becoming...

People point out to me the advantages of living alone. And they are right, if I had terrible roommates things would be worse. But it isn't roommates that I need, it's someone who loves me, living...

I'm glad I'm not bad enough off to be posting in the Crisis Center anymore. The suicidal thoughts are gone, the overwhelming darkness and heaviness are gone. The anxiety I feel could be termed...

Things that get me down are both now and in the past. And the things in the past hurt worse - I think that is strange but true.What hurts me now is living alone. Not having a partner to share life...

I have a couple of the greatest friends. I am very lucky. They always listen and never judge me harshly. They understand what I am going through and go out of their way to give me support. I doubt...

Well, I decided to get off the Mirtazapine. The Depression was so dark and painful, the suicidal thoughts were constant. So I went off could turkey and felt the dark thoughts lift immediately. Now I...

I'm glad I found these boards, relieves some of the boredom, but it does "trigger" my envy - a problem I struggle with anyway. I read over and over about people who have spouses. Friends. Access to...

This illness is so unfair, it robs you of so much. I wish I didn't have it so bad, it has fucked up my life so badly.  And there is no cure. Sometimes the medication is harmful as well. The effects...

I have no idea how to get what I need. I'm told it's the hardest thing on earth to find, but that doesn't make me need it less. And there is no substitute for it. Going without it makes me wish each...

I read the posts from people who are in so much pain. And I understand how they feel. I want to tell them - I understand. That YES it hurts. It's excruciating. And there is no guarantee it will get...

I have often wondered why it is considered humane to kill animals who are suffering, but tremendous effort is spent to keep suffering humans alive. This is done supposedly because there is a chance...