heretic

I'm glad I'm not bad enough off to be posting in the Crisis Center anymore. The suicidal thoughts are gone, the overwhelming darkness and heaviness are gone. The anxiety I feel could be termed...

Things that get me down are both now and in the past. And the things in the past hurt worse - I think that is strange but true.What hurts me now is living alone. Not having a partner to share life...

I have a couple of the greatest friends. I am very lucky. They always listen and never judge me harshly. They understand what I am going through and go out of their way to give me support. I doubt...

Well, I decided to get off the Mirtazapine. The Depression was so dark and painful, the suicidal thoughts were constant. So I went off could turkey and felt the dark thoughts lift immediately. Now I...

I'm glad I found these boards, relieves some of the boredom, but it does "trigger" my envy - a problem I struggle with anyway. I read over and over about people who have spouses. Friends. Access to...

This illness is so unfair, it robs you of so much. I wish I didn't have it so bad, it has fucked up my life so badly.  And there is no cure. Sometimes the medication is harmful as well. The effects...

I have no idea how to get what I need. I'm told it's the hardest thing on earth to find, but that doesn't make me need it less. And there is no substitute for it. Going without it makes me wish each...

I read the posts from people who are in so much pain. And I understand how they feel. I want to tell them - I understand. That YES it hurts. It's excruciating. And there is no guarantee it will get...

I have often wondered why it is considered humane to kill animals who are suffering, but tremendous effort is spent to keep suffering humans alive. This is done supposedly because there is a chance...

I can't decide whether to go off the Mirtazapine or not. When I first got meds I was given Geodon and Mirtazapine. The doctor told me I could take only a half a tab of Mirtazapine to start off with...

Happiness is foreign, if only it would all end. If only.

It's not that I want to die, it's just that living is so unpleasant. Each day drags on, filled with either things I don't want to do - or filled with nothing at all, hard to know which is worse at...

I was able to get out and go see a friends new apt today. I almost bailed because I felt the usual depression and didn't want to be a "drag" - but I went anyway and it wasn't so bad. I am grateful I...

I always feel so down and hopeless. I especially am down about living alone. I long to be in a relationship where I am loved and cared for but see no way, have no hope of that happpening. I can't...

I am so angry nd frustrated most of the time and I hate it. I know I am mentally ill, so it's hard for me to know what are my valid feelings and what is just my inability to think straight. I'm on...