Getting Better
I so want to feel better. And I do feel better than in times past. I have to remember that. It's when I let my mind wander and dwell on past hurts and mistakes I really get so down. Memories can feel like a sledgehammer to the gut. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. So many things. But I can't and that is hard to accept. Each day is a struggle not to let these memories surface, they can make me feel physically ill. And I want to get better. I don't want to stay stuck in the sadness and regret. Maybe the right meds will help, but it seems like such a long road and I hate being a guinea pig for meds. But at least I am on a path with possibilities. And hope for Getting Better.
Replies
I am glad that you still have hope despite all you have gone through and are still experiencing. I am wrapping you in my arms and praying that you will feel healing in your heart...in your body...in your mind.
You remain in my thoughts and my heart.
Have a good day today.
I am pulling for you to get better, my friend. I, too, am haunted by my past and it also can drag me down and make me feel sick. It\'s really hard if not impossible to get a fresh start or a new beginning in this day and age. When I\'m not beating myself up about the past, it always seems as if someone or something is bringing it up. It\'s really frustrating. I\'ve come to terms with many things in my past that I wish that I would have done differently, but some things are just too painful.
I try my best to live for today and to plan for tomorrow, but the past is part of who I am, why I think the way that I think, and why I do the things that I do. I wish I could find a medication that would make me forget some things or acts as a reset button to take me back to do things differently. However, this is my life and I had to and have to play the hands that I am dealt. I wish I would have played some hands differently, but I learned from them and I will play them differently if dealt them again.
I hope that you\'ll feel better soon. This is your life and your life is now and not in the past. Please don\'t forget that I\'m here for you my friend.