heretic

I've led a horrible life and deserve all the wretchedness that comes my way.I wish it wasn't so, I wish I could take back so many things I've done.I have so many regrets and they haunt me every...

I've learned a couple of good techniques for dealing with obsessive/intrusive thoughts. Read a good book that helped, now it just makes me kinda angry that I still have to deal with these thoughts at...

I have such hatred for a few certain people that I never see anymore.Since I don't see them I should not give them a thought - but I do.Thinking about these people makes me feel sick, but I do it...

People who don't live here are always saying how great they think it is.Vegas sucks. I don't drink or gamble and that is what is encouraged here.The landscape is dry and barren, Seattle was lush and...

Everything is blah - I don't care about anything anymore. I don't bathe daily anymore, don't keep my nails painted anymore, don't wash my clothes as often anymore, I do as little as possible to...

anger pops up over and over again through out the day, each time feels like a burning in my gut. I want to forget everything, but I need good things to think about instead. And I don't have any good...

I had two appts today, with my pdoc and then with my therapist.My pdoc upped my dose of Wellbutrin, which I didn't tolerate well a year ago but we'll see if it works now, I take Geodon and Abilify...

When I thought life couldn't get worse - it did. And then it got worse again. And then again. That was the sum of 2011. Hellish year. Now I'm at the lowest point I've been at in a decade or more....

I am so angry nd frustrated most of the time and I hate it. I know I am mentally ill, so it's hard for me to know what are my valid feelings and what is just my inability to think straight. I'm on...

There are so many things wrong in my life right now and none of them seem to be fixable. It's making me feel really anxious, angry and depressed all at once. I'm starting to feel a little bit manic...

I just realized how long its been since I wrote in this journal. five months. In that time I have gotten on better meds and felt better overall, which is probably why I didn't write anything here.But...

No one knows if I am alive or dead for days at a time. No one knows if I have been eating or sleeping. No one cares if I make if home from work alive. No one is here. I live alone. And it's literally...

Well, this is the 3rd AD I've tried in 6 months. The first 2 made me more depressed, but this Wellbutrin is a whole different story. Started at 100mg bumped to 150mg after the first week. And it made...

I am so beyond tired of being mentally sick.

I hate life, my life and life in general. I see horror all around me. People doing things that make me sick to my stomach. And they all get along just fine. It makes  me feel like I am...