heretic

There are so many things wrong in my life right now and none of them seem to be fixable. It's making me feel really anxious, angry and depressed all at once. I'm starting to feel a little bit manic...

I just realized how long its been since I wrote in this journal. five months. In that time I have gotten on better meds and felt better overall, which is probably why I didn't write anything here.But...

No one knows if I am alive or dead for days at a time. No one knows if I have been eating or sleeping. No one cares if I make if home from work alive. No one is here. I live alone. And it's literally...

Well, this is the 3rd AD I've tried in 6 months. The first 2 made me more depressed, but this Wellbutrin is a whole different story. Started at 100mg bumped to 150mg after the first week. And it made...

I am so beyond tired of being mentally sick.

I hate life, my life and life in general. I see horror all around me. People doing things that make me sick to my stomach. And they all get along just fine. It makes  me feel like I am...

Anger, bitterness, resentment, self-loathing, betrayal, hatred, rage. These are the feelings I live with.I wish I had been cruel when I was kind, then I might have deserved what I got.

My thinking is slipping. I wish I could sleep without the nightmares, I wake up feeling disoriented and ugly. My thoughts are mostly angry and painful, I feel constantly tormented by memories. I read...

I am getting worse. I've had suicidal thoughts for weeks, and nightmares every night. I'm scared that one day I will give in and do it. And if I don't then I just keep living in torment.The pdoc...

I wish I could go to sleep and leave this body behind. I wish I didn't have to wake up and find myself in this same life. I know that one day I will be free of it, I just wish it was soon. Continuing...

I'm trying to feel grateful for being alive, but in truth I am just really sad. Everyone agrees that positive thinking is healthy but very few of my memories are positive. I guess I have to try...

I wish I could puke up all the anxiety, guilt, shame and regret I carry inside me. It all stays in a sick lump in my gut I carry around with me every day. No way to get it out, no way to feel clean...

I didn't know what was wrong with me but at a very young age I felt something was broken inside. Now I am diagnosed bipolar and the implications are larger than I could have known. This illness has...

I have f-d up so many situations and hurt so many people along the way. My mind is filled with memories of past events gone wrong. They haunt me waking and sleeping, I dream about the past and wake...

I feel like I don't know how to let people get to know me, even on these boards. I want to, and I try to give supportive responses to posts but I don't know how to reach out for help. Sometimes I...