Ellocin

I got locked outta my house today.  I went outside this morning first thing to see if the kitties were around and accidently locked the door behind me.  I forgot my keys inside and was in my...

well at least i slept...it took drinking...a loxapine and an ativan to knock me out last night....was just so miserable.  i was cutting last night but couldn't cut as deep as i felt like doing...

i hate things...i cut...i talked to crisis line...helped for a bit...but feel miserable again...i dunno waht to do...whanna keep cutting and just finishe myself off for good but i know i need to stay...

I love my alcolhol friend.  It doesn't even tak emuch anyore becaus e of my meds.  But it makes me feel soo much batetter.  I feel so much more relaxered and at ease.  Just sitting here having...

still haven't heard from my counsellor and i think she' s gone home now.   guess my life doesn't matter after all.  *shrugs*I'm sorry I am really trying to hang on and be positive...just...

I can't handle anymore bad news.My bro-in-laws dad died.  My bro-in-law likely needs heart surgery.  My aunt was just diagnosed yesterday with breast cancer.  My mom has been having some ongoing...

My biopsy was post-poned until next week (November 8) to give my body time to recover from Saturdays events.  The doctor didn't feel comfortable with it at this point.  My brother-in-laws dad did...

Today is the day I have my bone marrow biopsy.  I'm a little nervous but surprisingly calm so far.  I'll be happy when it's over and I don't have to think about it anymore.I have some sad/scary...

Alpha went well tonight.  It's so great getting together with everyone there.  I'm not set up in a church yet so this is the closest to a church family that I have right now.  I basically consider...

Checking in quickly.  I have to leave for Alpha in a few minutes.  I ended up staying at my parents house overnight and helping them babysit a sweet little 3 year old girl.  Boy is she busy but...

Still feeling shaky today but much better then yesterday.  My blood pressure and heart rate are in the normal range.  BP is 125/78 and heart rate is 73 so it's looking good.  I am heading out to...

Back from the ER...boy oh boy what a time.  I took the bus down to the ER...walked up to triage...started telling her everything and when she took my pulse it was 250 beats per minute.  Crazy! ...

Going to ER.  Blood pressure and heart rate are sky high.  Don't know if something wrong or it's all in my head but I'm getting it checked. No more playing around.  Keep me in your prayers.

Took my last dose of antibiotics today...but I don't think the infection is gone.  My shoulder pain was bothering me through the night and my chest is bothering me a bit today.  Feel very weak as...

Just wanted to say I posted some pics of the mommy cat.  Couldn't get a good shot because she kept moving and rubbing against me and she didn't like the flash so her eyes are closed.  Maybe the...