well at least i slept...it took drinking...a loxapine and an ativan to knock me out last night....was just so miserable. i was cutting last night but couldn't cut as deep as i felt like doing because there's already so much scar tissue in the way making it to hard. I'm suppose to see my counsellor today but i'm a little upset about that since she didn't call me back yesterday. I don't want to deal with anything right now. I just want to be invisible and melt into the background so I don't have to deal with all this stuff going on. It's too much for me to handle. It really is.
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Remember your counselor is your helper in all this. Sometimes I can\'t get through to my friends when I need them , that doesn\'t mean I get mad at them...I just try to realize they have lives too, complete with problems of their own.
So don\'t handle it all... Give it away to someone else! You know Christ, give it all to him, we aren\'t made to worry about everything all the time... I know it\'s rough right now, but Christ is closest when things are bad, so call on him, I know it\'s a pride thing cause you want to be able to deal with everything, but again we weren\'t made to do that. And keepingon is right about how ur counselor is ur helper in all of this... u can be mad but dont\' let it get in the way of her helping you. I love you and I\'m praying for you.
Rachael