i hate things...i cut...i talked to crisis line...helped for a bit...but feel miserable again...i dunno waht to do...whanna keep cutting and just finishe myself off for good but i know i need to stay strong for my family and especially my nephews.Maybe it would b a blessing if i wasn't here. then everyo9ne could just morn me at same time as the other and would be spared dealing with me in the future...i dunno...i'm too chicken shit to do anything much anyway. i don't want to give in and tak ean ativan or loxapine but i think that might be my only option at this poinkt. i feel like it'd be better for everyone if i was dead. but i know that's just my screwed up thinking and really that's not right. how do i move past this and deal with what's going on and not the borderline personality stuff. how do i be normal? i can't deal like thies.
Replies
First God doesn\'t make junk! You have a place and a purpose to fullfill in this universe.
You also have mental illness, so do I . This cutter isn\'t the real you, but it is the hurting you,... trying to get an adrenaline rush (whether you know it or not). I am going to move ahead to your next journal I see there is more than one today.
Normal doesn\'t exsist for us... Sorry... At least thats what I believe, but thats really ok, cause we are unique and cool and that is so much better than just normal! I\'ve been cutting too, it really helped me when my grandparents were going through all their medical problems! I know it\'s bad to say that, but it worked. I hope and pray that you can get through life without cutting, but... I understand. Love you!
Rachael