I got locked outta my house today.  I went outside this morning first thing to see if the kitties were around and accidently locked the door behind me.  I forgot my keys inside and was in my pj's.  It sucked.  I needed to have a shower and get dressed because I had an appointment but I didn't get to do either and I had to go to my appointment looking like I just crawled outta bed.  It was horrible.  And all I could do when I was there was cry.  I'm just such a mess right now.  My counsellor reminded me that I need to get a tetanus shot so i'll schedule that for the week after the bone marrow biopsy.  I can't chance anything else screwing with that getting done...just want it over with.  I was playing with the kitties most of the day because i couldn't do anything else.  I talked to a few neighbours and they're all looking for homes for them as well.  So at least I know there's other people watching them too.  We're all feeding them too...lol...so they're getting well fed.  Or at least somewhat.  Noticed though that the Momma cat is pregnant again...so I dunno.  She will probably have them soon and then leave her current baby behind.  I hear that's how cats are.  I dunno really.  Well, I gotta go.  I need to do laundry and have a shower because I go away tomorrow with my Alpha group.  That is really the last thing I want to do right now but I know if I don't do that then I'll do negative stuff and probably end up in hospital so going with the group is probably the better option. I just hope I can keep myself together while there.  I don't want everyone to know what all is going on.  Also I will have to share a room with two other girls and I'm worried about the whole sleep thing.  I don't sleep well and I don't want to disturb them.  I dunno.  I dunno.  So much going on and going with this group is soooooo out of my comfort zone right now.  I may call the pastor and talk to him because I will feel better if he knows....but I don't want everyone to know.  Well, gotta go get some stuff done before I lose the tiny bit of motivation that I have.